Saturday, January 21, 2006

hav been working lately till quite late than reach home and tired so didnt blog for days. or maybe weeks. today i blog coz i went home early.
as topic wrote, break down. so i shall tok about break down. break down not by vehicles or speed of movement but break down of a person emotions/feelings. a person tend to break down due to shattering of heart into small pieces by something which hurt them deeply. And for this, nth can mend this broken heart back onli one thing which can be done to mend it back is to say "i love you" this 3 words to the person whom u hurt deeply. but i noe tat this very phrase will not ever come out from ur very own mouth coz there are things which had been set as FATE and no one can change FATE but onli FATE to change FATE. Although there are rejections in different ways, methods or etc, its oso rejection rite? and it onli takes a matter of time for u to understand the meaning behind it for some rejection is not as obvious as u think it were. For me, being able to finally noe the answer to it, hav been broken down by it. Why do i feel break down? its becoz wad u hav done, the ways u treated me, the things u hav done for mi, it's all makes mi feel so gd, so happi and it actually makes mi like u bit by bit and slowly, in love wif u. but wif juz one sms of urs, makes mi lost all this feelings, the joy we had together, the sadness we had shared and the help we gave to each others. Love is unfair, but i must make it fair. This sms hurts mi very deeply. im really speechless when u told mi this but yet i managed to reply u, "i will keep a distance from u from now on and dun worry coz i finally noe wad u mean by it." u told mi, ur ex told u this as well and i dunno wad to reply u. 1hr later, u msged mi again asking y i reply so slow. If it was u, will u noe wad to reply? For me, i dunno wad to reply u and i dun hav the mood to. You oso asked mi wad am i doing? u expected mi to tell u, i'm slping wif tears clinging on my eyes and overheard my mum toking to 2nd aunt saying tat the money left for mi to use at 21yrs old she gonna take it out and spend it? and left penniless for me? do u really expect mi to say tat to u? and guess wad. this week pay i got $380. she took $180 for herself and i owe her $50 for eating becoz she took most of my pay for months left mi very little to spend. and i onli manage to pay her $20 which i left wif $180 for mi to eat and buy new yr clothes. The food i needa spend on is $4 per day and i juz bought jeans, jacket, shirts for $90. My ez-link is adult fare and one day expenses on it is $5. how am i able to live on liddat? i needa borrow money from one of my buddy to eat. Can u imagine having this mother? Took money from ur pay and say no money can borrow from her. WAD KIND OF FUCKING MOTHER IS THIS! I'm seriously unable to tolerate her anymore, and all the things which is happening. i dunno who i can confront to, whom i can really trust, believe in. It seems like there's doesnt really hav a gd listener for mi to confront to.

What i had wrote is all a joke. LOL! kinda stupid but i hav nth to do. =]

``\\ Loving you is all bout mE //``

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

this morning went out wif my buddies. ate breakfast at MAC then talk talk. was kinda funny. haha! there's onli mi, ran, wei, tony and thomas la. bin and sheng mia. LOL! then went to douby ghaut to play dota lor. haha. went for hero seige first. omFg, we took hrs to complete it. its so damn freaking hard seh. but we still win! LOL! CLEAR STAGE! clear stage not tat big deal la. big deal is SO MANY PPL LOOKING AT US CLEAR! LOL!!!!! omFg. its so damn stress lor. some more they all throw their best equip to mi to clear boss. coz the boss whack damn freaking hell fast and damn high dmg. i hav illusion so can hav alot of heros of mi whack the same time. HAHA! and my dmgs is highest. keke=P in the end we complete the whole game! hahaha. next time play is gonna be extreme. the most tough one. coz we finished normal which is the 2nd toughest. haha.. pro ler? NO LA! this need teamwork de ma. kaka=P then went to play dota. kanna pwned. LOL! they say they r noobie. liar sia-_- bad bad. haha but nvm. damn funny oso tat match. loL! then play alot of other games oso la. got play 1 wc3 map. AVP! alien versus predator. LOL! it's really like tat show. got human, alien and predator. when we play tat map onli left mi thomas and wei. so we each take 1 side. ended up we all didnt finish. coz ran keep calling us to go back cwp mos burger to find him la. then go over le lor. reached there le he was wif wan ting. er, first impression on her, she's pretty, but yet her hair doesnt suit her=.=! she tie up seriously not nice la. loL!!!!! then we all chit-chat abit la. or maybe alot? dunno! LOL! juz felt she's abit berserk? y ler..? coz she kept laughing. wad's so funny huh? -_- dunno her la. rofL! then after tat she go home le. gd ger ma, go home early. around 7+ la. haha. then we went to U2, coz WEI wan to SEE SOMEONE! LOL!!! then went to 7th floor, lan shop still down. no new lan shop or anything. then sit outside the stairs there at 7th floor de. the buy ticket place there la. lol. chat for quite long. wei and ran went down buy bubble tea. then continue chat. rofL! after tat came home le lo. around 9 liao le. then smsed wif wan ting see how's she doing and so on la. then online le. so many emails.. o.o haha..checked finished oso le. keke=p so here i am! BLOGGING! and IM ENDING NOW! LOL!!!

HUIYU! buy mi 1 nike shoe too next time. LOL!
sandy, take care ya. =P
study hard everyone to those who still studying! and work hard for those who still working! gambateh! ^^V

``\\ Loving you is all bout mE //``

Monday, January 09, 2006

today the newcomers came to flextronic is erm, well, my buddy thomas and 2 more girls. they 18yr old. haha.. 1 of them kinda pretty the other one erm. average? lol.. then they juz came, no chair so i gave my seat to them. anyway i oso not at there work de ma, i work upstairs de, juz tat nth to do so i came down to chit-chat. haha.. then wtf lor, the colleague all giv mi tat er.......=.=!! piang eh so freaking hell shy lor. then after tat kelvin told mi, go get her number la. she's 18, jie di lian nvm one. -_- its so freaking funny huh-.-? hmm, but im not really interested in tat girl. im interested in another one. which is at the back de.. not the front which kelvin talk about. y ler? coz i felt she's familiar. like saw her at woodland centre last time de..at the arcade and some times lan shop which i played at. really kinda familiar la. lol..tat's y i noticed her more. haha.. then today found out alex same sec sch as mi!! WOODLAND SEC! LOL! freaking hell sia. the world is really damn small ler. but when im sec1 he is sec4 le. loL! so we dun really see each other. hahaha..too bad? loL! today working so boring. keep going upstairs and come downstairs. coz they call mi go up i go up help. then finished helping at upstairs sibei sian so went down to chit-chat and help out. haha.. hmm..

juz played dota. holy shit+double kill wif 3v5. hehe.. kinda fun sia. i cant stop laughing. i using a new hero which i dunno and can get this much kill and win! LOL! they all left the game. haha. another one is onli got a killing spree and all the opposite team left. which is less then 10mins. wad a boring game. but i got 3 kill in 10mins ler. wakak=P

and finally, xanne! wish ya can be happi wif the guy u like. wakaka=P if he bully u u tell mi i go whack him for ya. loL!
ran ge! duno u see mi blog not, but wish u the best in getting her(u noe who but not voldemort) loL!
thomas, when break? LOL!!!!!!!!
ah wei, when start jio? LOL!!!!!!!

``\\ Loving you is all bout mE //``

Sunday, January 08, 2006

did i changed? anyone can tell mi pls. i really confused. haiz. i felt tat alot of mi frens felt im irritating? am i feeling the correct thing? i dunno. if im irritate u, pls tell me. hope to get an answer from everyone who noe mi asap. thanks alot.

``\\ Loving you is all bout mE //``

Saturday, January 07, 2006

heard from many frens of mine telling mi tat O's lvl result will be release on 15th of feb. omg, its coming so fast.. i got to dye my hair asap liao le. haiz. not to black color which u may think. but is red wif fringe purple. keke. =P hope it's nice. when i dye le got ppl help mi take pic i'll try to update to my frenster pic as well as my msn pic. =D y dun update in this blog? well i dunno how. LOL! too bad XD anyway, i dun hav full confident tat i will get gd grades to enter poly. or maybe enff grades to enter poly? haha..dun wanna care bout it. as the saying goes, zou yi bu kan yi bu. loL! thomas joining mi at flextronic this coming monday le. lol, he gonna felt bored. coz the new stuff which juz came in needa test out is kinda..bored? LOL!

wondering how's mummy now..haiz..ever since tat day sch starts. she didnt chat or sms wif mi le. hope she's still fine. did she even see my blog now? dun think so ba. nvm oso. O's level comes first. studies comes first. =D

kor juz sent mi a song. mcfly - obviously. well, some parts of the song i agree wif it. truly meant for mi. and most of the parts r meant for him. lOL! =X the more i listen to tat song, the more upset i am. so..i not gonna on it le. loL! techno wif blasting earfone is still the best for mi. blast my mind and ear off! rawks man..but..end up getting scolded by mum. coz she called mi i cant hear. ROFL! who cares? i feel happi can le. as wad qi jie said. keke=P i very long didnt do this liao le. now really enjoying sia. hehe...

juz now dota..haiz..godlike and died le. so sad. almost got holy shit. but well nvm, sick of getting le. lOL! jk. if i used hero im not sure wif i sure got pwned. loL! now wanna try out more heroes le. keke=P tml going out wif buddies to play dota. gonna try out! keke=P

been feeling down recently. but my heart told mi, i must not show it out. keep to miself is the best choice. so well, trying to be a fool, makes everyone laugh and so on. many of them ask mi, "xiong u siao liao ah today?" haha.. well, wad can i do? nth rite. it's meant to be this way which i gonna live in. i gonna continue to live like wad i am now. i doubt im able to change. argh! kinda blur by wad i said? well, i noe myself can le. keke. k la. dun wanna continue le. if not it will be damn long. =]

``\\ Loving you is all bout mE //``

Friday, January 06, 2006

hav been working for long hrs recently, need money>.< so kinda tired and didnt blog. sry about it. went to read mummy bloggie. she's having probs but she doesnt feel like talking now. so ya, i dun disturb her ba, let her be alone think thru. but mummy, hav 1 thing to tell u, no matter wad, im will always be here for u^^ must find mi if u need mi help ok? =D hee. ivan, i hope u and ur dear dear r fine. dun bother about wad others think! u told urself tat and u should do it ma. hehe=P qi jie, wish ya the best in erm..getting a new guy?=\ lol.. yu jie, juz dun wanna went a big round saying bout ya. but i hope u can see wad i say..some times, some ppl dun really like other ppl to talk about religion things when having fun. coz it will spoil others mood. y? well, its basically easy, we wan to hav fun, leave the rest like religions, races all tat behind and enjoy! hee. hope ya understand wad i mean. =D and sandy, how r u doing? u and him how le wor? been fine ma? and jwen!! study hard and dun stress urself out wor..=P xanne, u hav really changed. no doubt, like the way u r now, hope u can maintain liddat or become better^^ wish ya the best in ur studies~ gambateh! =D been noticing all about ppl? haha.. well nth about mi though.

chinese new yr is approaching nearer and nearer. i gonna dye mi hair soon liao le. cny ma, must be red red, so intend to dye red. lOL! hope it's nice. XD i hav been working quite happi and fun sia. coz those newcomers really damn cute. not tat cute la, but chatting ways. loL! able to chat wif them well ler. loL~ new phrase learnt from them, this one is funny coz we will always say it and laugh. "ji bai bu hao xiao lor" LOL! cute ler? remember to use often. =X loL! juz now 6pm going home, one of them said "bu hao xiao lor" and everyone including those aunties not talking to us behind de laugh oso. ROFL. u wont really understand how it feel when u didnt see it. it's really damn funny, everyone not laughing and he said tat all laugh but those aunties doesnt laugh at wad he say oso la. they chatting among themselves. concidence. loL! erm. i stop here le ba. hee..forgot wad to update liao le. take care everyone=D

``\\ Loving you is all bout mE //``

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

today heard from fm933. for dragon zodiac - appreciate wad u already have. and this yr u will be very happi. remember, must hav self-control as well in order to succeed. so im gonna appreciate wad i already have now. dun ask for too much, and always must remind myself to hav self-control. hehe. see I GO GD BOI! loL~ =P oso heard a story about a salesman. he wanted his products to be on sale by this company. meaning to help him sell his products. therefore he went to the company, passed his namecard to the secretary and asked her to pass it to her boss. She did so and her boss was unhappi at tat time and returned it back to the secretary to ask her giv him back. and he didnt giv up juz liddat, he gave her again and asked her to pass it to her boss once again. her boss now getting angry, threw it inside dustbin! and the secretary told the salesman tat her boss threw it away. never giv up, he gav her 1 more namecard and asked her to pass it to her boss. her boss got fuck up by him and tear it into half and wif $10 notes asked the secretary to pass to him saying tat the $10 is for the namecard. The salesman didnt get angry, and he even replied, $10 cost 2 namecards, u juz got one and i still owe u one, so here is the other one. THE WHOLE OFFICE STAFFS LAUGH! well, morale of the story, never giv up even if ppl trying their best to ask u giv up. perservance is a gd thing in life. =)

as promise to yu jie, i will hav confident and continue to walk on myself. and i'll try to make my mum happi. but 1 thing i cant do is i hate listening to her when she crappings or naggings. other things should be fine wif mi.
and promise to qi jie, i will keep it a secret juz between u and mi. no one else. even if there are ppl who dun wanna help mi, i will try mi best to overcome all the freaking hardship. i will put all those in the past and live for the future.

AND I GETTING MY HAIR DYED VERY SOON! MID OF JAN OR END OF JAN! HEHE..BLOODY RED IS NICE..ROFL~

anyway, my "adventure" today. go work as usual, but is alone take bus now, no neighbour drive mi le coz her children need to go sch then she fetch them go. then i take 962. look at the bus stop. WOOHOO~ SO MANY PPL! and alot of chiobus=x loL~ didnt really care coz my mp3 music rawks more than them. but it seems tat alot of ppl over there look at mi. i was like, feeling to shout out SEE WAD SEE? NEVER SEE YANDAO BE4 AH? LOL~ well i didnt did it =x lol. then bus came, so full -.- but nvm able to board it. on the bus, i scanned my ez-link. and many ppl looked at mi. for wad? LOL! maybe its becoz my ez-link sound is "ti ti" and not "ti", well, 2 sounds means secondary sch ma. and my hair is dyed and i was not in sch uniform, so i got the attention. lOL! i walked deeper inside the bus coz they like er, like the bus driver? dun wanna move in or inside got ghost? LOL! so i went in. on the way in, so many ppl keep looking at mi. so shy>.< am i so attractive? LOL! who cares, juz continue walked in lo and listen to my nice nice songs~.~ hehe. reached work le. late of coz. by 11mins. lol. but nvm de. keke.. then work work work. finished work go home at 6pm. take 962. saw a chiobu O.O wee u wee~ but i cant get near her. not bus too many ppl but something on her back which is scary. wad thing? dun tell u ler. LOL! well, her shirt wrote, "caution" SO I MUST BE CAREFUL! ROFL!!! then i reached home le lo. chatted wif erm. some1. and play dota and then here blogging.

The End. LOL!

``\\ Loving you is all bout mE //``

Monday, January 02, 2006

im confused again. i seriously dunno wad i wan for my life. everyone told mi tat i spending my life away for nth in returns. wad did i really achieve and get? i myself dunno the answer. wad did i really get? i felt im becoming more and more ignorant, childish, hopeless and helpless. siyin is my mummy, and yet i cant help her when she's having problems. xanne is my best fren and yet i cant cheer her up. my mum having financial prob and yet i keep falling sick. how am i able to keep working for money to help her out?! alot of my frens and colleague asked mi this question, wad jc/poly u going after u get ur result? and wad courses i'll be taking. my answer is, I DUNNO! im seriously dunno wad i gonna get for my result. im sure the result will not be wad i wan. and if it's not, i wont be able to choose the sch or the courses i wan already rite. and therefore i can onli be chosen and not to choose. a mere 20points, i dun even hav the courage to say it proudly, I FOR SURE CAN GET IT! coz im not really confirm i can even get 20points.. a colleague of mine told me, nvm if u're bad in studies, there's still courses which teaches games. sort of game creator. maybe i choose this choice, but MY POINTS! will i be able to even take tat courses? wif my points? i wondered. haiz.. retake subjects? if i hav the money to retake. god damn it. and my mum now come tells mi about money prob again. im really sick and tired of hearing it! cant she see it?! even when im real tired and felt so sick i still go work. for wad? FOR THE MONEY! AND SHE STILL GIVING MI ALL THIS TROUBLES! TELLING MI ALL THIS SHIT! TO A SICK PERSON?! FREAK!

qi jie, i understand le. i wont think tat way again. and. i oso hate it when ppl tells mi tat. "ni hen ke lian". I JUZ FEEL TAT THEY JUZ MERELY SHOWING CROCODILE SYMPATHY! im not gonna wait anymore. i giving up as well. maybe a loner really suits mi more.

``\\ Loving you is all bout mE //``

Sunday, January 01, 2006

love? uh huh. thinking it's onli about those relationship love? well, part of it r and part of it r not. firstly, it's family love i meant. everyone need family love, care and concern. Now u may think tat my parent r irritating, keep nag nag nag non-stop. very frustrating huh? yea i agree wif ya. but think from the other hand, if they dun nag and irritate u, will u become who u r now? u will be ignorant if they didnt nag and irritate u when u're young. trust mi, sometimes something meant to be done and not done will cause a big different in a person life. so, dun every mistreat ur parent for they r the one tat brought u up and made u wad u r now. treat them as if there's no tml and u will noe the happiness in ur life. not for today onli but everyday and u wont regret if the days u doesnt wan comes. (u noe wad i mean) coz no one can predict wad will happen in future. juz like how i wanna treat my mum well now. but something i really cant make it happen today. like getting new things and treat her eat for im broke. i need to get my pay be4 treating her and get her things huh. so i wanna mean is tat sometimes something can onli be done awhile later. dun push it for too long. this is family love.

relationship love. many ppl may wan to noe this. relationship love is not all about SEX onli. it's about muture, understanding, thoughtful, helpful, sharing, care and concern. some ppl juz went into a relationship juz becoz the partner r handsome or pretty. not becoz of their character and personality. this will not last long. u must choose some1 which suits u, and he/she felt tat she/he suits u. liddat it would be a longlasting love. i always believe tat if i'll to hav a partner, i would hope she is able to tolerate, understanding, thoughtful and care about mi.. y? for tolerance and understanding, well, im not always free everyday everytime. so sometime got to tolerate wif mi for not able to accompany her. thoughtful, think about wad we hav done and cherish it. i dun really like to spend so much time on something and she treat it as if.. it's piece of trash. care, everyone needs this too rite? so no much xplaination.

we may not be able to find our perfect match now, becoz fate has not been given to us. juz wait abit longer, dun desperate for it. wad r meant to be urs will be urs, if not, juz let it go. so, i actually told someone(who shall not be named) there's bound to be hurt for loving some1. if there's no hurt, no pain, there will not be any gain. and if u're dare to love some1, u must be able to accept the hurt tat was causes by the other party. anyway, the someone, i hoped ya think carefully be4 making any harsh decision k? 1 day i doubt it's enff. try spending 2-3days? but not as long as 1month. haha. and take care ah. dun bother to ask mi who it is, coz i wont tell ya even if u threaten to kill mi. =P

im wondering. y is everyone changed so suddenly. did anything happened to them? i dare not ask. it may be something which r hurtful. so be a mute is better than anything else. but i have 1 thing to say, no matter wad and how u changed, i hope u dun turn bad. tat's wad i wish for, and u like the new u urself.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! today it's 1/1/2006! the 2006 year! the 2005 was the past! all guys, now live a new happi life in 2006! make it worthwhile and dun make mistakes like u did in 2005! making new mistakes which u never done be4 is fine but not making the same mistakes again! all the best to u guys! A new yr, and everyone changing, guess i gonna change too? well i am! end of jan, i go dye hair. CHANGE OF HAIR COLOR! LOL! oso change rite? haha. stop here le ba. hand tired le. been typing non-stop. lol. take care GUYS!

``\\ Loving you is all bout mE //``