wo de xin sui le..bu zhi dao wei she mo jiu shi yi zhi hen tong.. yi jin tong le hao ji ge xiao shi le.. shui jiao ye mei shui hao.. zhe me ban.. wo bu lei, wo shui bu zao.. wo de xin hen kong xu.. gai zhe me ban cai hao...?
is fate decided by ourselve or other ppl?
u gib mi hope and now u destroy it. wad u actually wan from me? cant u juz tell me straight?! i've already tried my best to help u le.. n u keep gibing mi prob one after another.. when can u stop? i dun even noe how i should tell u everything i wrote face to face. n i'm sure u wont noe wad i writing n wont see this too. but i juz cant keep everything in my heart. do u noe tat i suddenly have the urge to go back to tat carpark? i suddenly remind of tat's the place i should go n nowhere else. u keep telling mi dun do this, dun do tat. then do wad?! FUCK MAN! is this really my life or urs? i've already tried to gib in to u as much as i can.. but u keep asking for more. i've already told u last time tat i wont have much time for u if i started working. n now wad? u freaking forget all!! n again onli my dearest panda acc me.. seeing mi in tears. how many times am i gonna face this? wad had i done in the past? havnt i help enff ppl now? y am i still having this kind of shit life.. i juz dun understand.. a simple, peaceful, carefree life is all i wan.. is it tat hard? or u dun wan me to have it? or god dun wan? who noes? maybe its all of the above..wad a gd fucking life i had.. i wish u can go back to last time how u treated me after i went to the carpark.. n not the way it is now...
N now wad.. the freaking hell chalet... y must go? i dun have money i dun wan to go got wrong? i dun have time i dun wan to go oso got wrong? i need to work on those day to earn enff money oso got wrong? cant i choose wad i wan in my life? we won competition n got alot of medals i noe.. n we celebrating it i noe it too. but i cant join u guys.. my heart will oso be there wif u even if i cant join.. cant i do this??
the loanshark came again.. wrote another unit again.. now its 09542. how many more times they gonna write? last time its 09540.. next is 09544? y r they so fucking timid? onli appear when there's no one. is all the loanshark so timid? cant they even come face to face say owe how much? call them n the number they wrote on the wall is fake..how to contact? even if wanna return money oso cannot lOR! (yea as if i would gib them..i think i'll onli gib them feel the hospitality...) FUCKERS!!!
i oso hab my prob.. can u stop adding more probs to me? i cant even solve my probs yet its ok..i helped u..but stop gibing some more of it!!!! DO U FREAKING HELL NOE ALL THIS ACTUALLY MAKE MI THINKING OF BREAKING THE 2 PROMISES I MADE?!
thx ivan, qi, yu and my buddies. im glad u guys always there for me. thx alot! ur guys r the best in my liFE!
i should have believ wad tat guy said. haiz.. i really met wif tons of probs at this moment.. wad should i do? which should i solve first? i felt tat i'll breakdown anytime soon. really beri stress out.. i wish i doesnt need anyone help. but tat is impossible.. wifout anyone to help, i'll not be able to solve all this prob liao.. haiz.. but i dunno who i can approach for help.. zhe me ban... everything is a must to solve.. there's not even 1 prob which can be pushed till later than solve.. damn!!! my life sux big time now becoz i made it suX!!
i wrote my schedule for next week work le..mon, tue, wed and fri all on 10am-6pm. hehe.. see whether im able to get all the schedule not..
Getting money is like digging for a needle, spending it is like water soaking into sand.
does make sense huh? if its the other way round, wad would u think will happen to this world? imagine juz a drink which costs $100? can u imagine that? loL~ therefore, money is hard to earn, spend it wisely!! (although i dun lA~ coz i felt money can never earn finish but at least i earn liao spend it made me feel better.) lOL!
4th, 5th and 6th oct have chalet. Archery de..becoz we got 12medals, then wing open chalet for uS. but i dun think i can go.. this 3 days im booked too.. but he say must GO! how how? T.T
I don't need to "get a life". I'm a gamer. I have lots of lives!
i saw one of my fren msn pic have this sentence.. LOL! make sense for all the gamers! GAMERS OWN! LOL~~~ XD
ytd went out wif my buddies and some sec sch girl frens~ total consists of 11ppL! got 1 guy is xtra lA~ he is ah wei classmate oso my fren lai de. lOL! total is 8guys 3 girls. dun worry ah yun~ i will onli like u. loL~ xD
went to subway to eat during lunch. coz ah sheng, ryan and ah wei hungry. then mi and bin oso go wif them..jpg)
this one is taken around 12+am..we were sitting outside cwp chatting..hehehe.. from left is tony, ryan and sheng.
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this one is at subway took de! i'm the camera MAN!~ they beri yandao ler~ =DD
from left is bin, ryan, sheng and wei!
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usual~ camera man agaiN~ took the whole seats by us. although 3 of them go off le..loL~ nearest to left is bin, then tony, then ryan, then sheng, then wei, then tze wen, then yoke muN~
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thomas sleeping..LOL!
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bin bicycle but now lend ryan to cycle. loL!
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mE! taken when im beri slpy. lOL!
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the drinks we took.. got 1 more ice mountain but i dunno where it goes. beri dark there.. lOL!
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AH BIN! THERE THE ICE MOUNTAIN! left of BIN~
went to eat steamboat after we ate at subway..in between we got go walk walk around marina square. haha.. after tat we go play bowling. then went to meet the rest which is beng and peng at marina south. thomas came to meet us at bowling place. after tat we all go eat steamboat! beri sad lo..i pay for them..total $132 ler..bully me.. =( u all thinking y i pay for them? siao ah? i beri rich? U GOT THE WRONG IDEA! they pass mi the money then i pay! lOL!!! then we eat eat play play then come back woodland le. then left onli mi, ryan, thomas, tony, bin and sheng chatting. the rest went home le..haha~ chat till 1230am liddat then went home le..heee...
miss u lots~~~ xD u should noe who u r? xD kekeke
everything seems so near but in actual fact its damn freaking far. i feel everything i wanna noe today le. its great to noe the truth.
this week no schedule for mi to work at cine..probably next week then have ba.. think i wont work long hrs at there. its so freaking boRing. today juz went there saw a few colleagues i sian half liao..so many aunties.. sad..generation gap.. =(
i almost broke 2 promises in 15mins..lucky there's no beer for mi to drink.. another promise is punch wall.. but tml i not sure whether i can stop the temptation or not..steamboat.. they sure order beer, i dunno whether i can dun drink.. juz felt like gurpping myself wif alot alot of beer.. >.<
yes, PISSED OFF! P I S S E D O F F!! y? argument between one auntie when working at rocky. ytd she called mi to go orchard point to take stock then come work. she say finish then she put down fone liao. i cannot even say anything. then i ask bin bin noe how to go not then bin say ya. then bin bring mi go wif him LO~ when we take stock le then we walk back to orchard delfi. then my supervisor called mi. he asked mi i take the stock liao not, i say ya. then he asked mi where the hell is the fucking robin. i say he is wif me. then he curp my fone. wtH~ nVM~ then mi and bin reached OD liao le then the fucking auntie jiu say "y go take stock need 2ppl to go? y u cannot go alone?" then i say " i dunno the place then i ask bin to bring mi go." then she say "dunno can tell me, i ask other ppl to go then u come work" wtH LOR! i dun feel like talking back saying i dun have chance to say. then she continue to nag nag nag. saying "y u cannot go alone? y need 2ppl to take stock?" as everyone noe, i hate ppl who nag. so i juz say ok ok ok. then she still continued, i was damn fucked up and pissed so i louder my volume by saying OK LA! IM AT FAULT CAN? then i walked out of kitchen than stay at bar and went to serve customers. after around 30mins later, then no hav so much customers liao, ibrahim wan to tok to mi and bin. he asked mi and bin not to show black face. tat is fine wif mi. i can do it. but he even wan us to do him a favor. which is apologize to auntie. wTH LOR! AS IF I WILL! I DUN SEE A NEED IN DOING SO WHEN SHE DID THE WRONG THINGS SHE CAN FIND TONS OF EXCUSES AND COVER IT WHEN PPL ALL NOE SHE'S IN THE WRONG AND SHE DUN APOLOGIZE. Y SHOULD I APOLOGIZE TO HER WHEN NOW SHE AND MI R AT FAULT? SHE DUN ALLOW MI TO SAY ANYTHING AND STARTED SAYING ME BLAH BLAH BLAH! i told ibrahim i can forget bout this matter but i wont apologize. tat's it. then see ibrahim kinda upset and went in to ask auntie to go off. mi and bin beri happi COZ AUNTIE SHOO OFF LIAO! WOOHOO~ but there's another prob, auntie is suppose to take over ibrahim and work de. coz ibrahim fone spoiled then he actually wanna go repair, in the end cannot coz he needa work. mi and bin buay gum wif tat fucking auntie ma. then when auntie went off i went in kitchen to see ibrahim sitting at kitchen feeling upset. then i see the time, its 6pm. so i asked him go repair his fone. if not he cannot use his fone. then he say then u and bin can handle? i say ya can. i do bar and pos. then bin kitchen. then he say u sure can handle? then bin and mi say ya~ then he still sitting down there thinking awhile then i say dun think le la, going to off work time liao faster go. if not later alot of ppl then needa wait more long. then he went to repair fone. and the suay part came. when he go off, around 10mins later SLAM!. so freaking many customers. lol..then bin and mi rush rush rush all the drinks and food then serve serve. LOL~ then 8pm ibrahim came back le. he gonna get a new fone on monday le. coz still got warranty. haha.. kinda happi coz i see him quite happi too. ^^ ibrahim oso beri headache. he morning buy bee hoon, then uncle joe say his bee hoon quite nice then ibrahim ask him to try. then uncle joe ate all left nth so ibrahim no eat. then afternoon slam. then the prob wif auntie. then he didnt eat anything from morning then some more so much problems. customers oso got complain him. saying y serve so slow. then ibrahim xplain to customer then the customer say "MY PROB IZZIT?" wth.. attp. then he oso beri headache la.. but after he finished all the fone thing the manager treat him eat macdonald. coz they made him wait beri long then he complain. haha.. xD
mi, tony, sheng, bin, ryan met up at cwp near titanic area to sit down and chit chat. we chatted alot tat night around 12+ am till 2am liddat. wad we chat? brothers problem! cannot say. xD after tat i hungry, i say i wan mum mum..but my mouth doesnt feel like eating. yet my stomach calling for help like no tmL~ then we went to supper place to makan. hehh. after tat went home le. around 3am+..
si ah yun~ keep making mi jealous by saying tat fone>.< sob sob.. =( but nVM! w850i gonna come out le. I GET TAT~ jealous? xD ekekeke..850i woR~ hiak hiak hiak~~ hehe..i noe u like this fone oso..when i get le i lend u use awhile..hehe ^^ miss yA~ take care k? xD
hmm.. i did think bout myself oso mA. but most of the time i put ppl at the front. Coz sometimes even if im happi, others r not. but if i see others happi, i will be happi. especially u. ^^
ytd play bball. so fun but beri sad is i hurt myself. T.T i didnt wear shoe then i run bout. kena stepped so many times then my skin came off as well. then step on glass pieces toO!~ so shioK~ but then i got pull out the glass pieces lA~ loL~ some more not kena one time but 2 times ler. one at the middle of the btm leg and another is at the injured part of my toe. one of my toe bleed mA..then some more step on glass pieces. so shiOK! free massage. LOL! then after tat we went to have dinner at 9+ at our usual supper place. LOL~ eat and chat till 11 then go homE~ then mi and sheng waiting for 901. wait so long..like got 10mins. then finally saw 901 come. I RAISE MY HAND BUT THE FUCKING DRIVER SAW IT YET HE CONTINUE TO DRIVE! FUCK HIM! ROAR!! nVm lo~ then sheng and mi walk home..loL~ lazy to wait. hAHAha! then while walking still continue to chat wif her. till halfway i chased her go bath coz she havnt bath..no wonder i can smell chou chou. lOL! then was about to reach my house she bath finished le. so fast siA~ dunno is i walk slow or wad lA! loL!!~ then chat chat chat till 105am then she finally wan go slp. then i go pom pom~ pom finished watch 1 disc of MVP qing ren and 1 episode of bleach then go oRh oRH~ hehe..tat's tmL! =DD OVERALL! HAPPY!
y happi nEH? well, some1 or maybe 3ppl planned together to hide something from mi loR~ make it short. ah yun and chin came to see mi and bin play bball which is onli chin will come see bin de. walaO~ si bin pang seH! *kick kick* lOL~ then when they 2 going home mi and bin bin accompany them till wdl interchange. then they 2 girls go home lE. =D although i noe she will come(y? coz i juz hav the feeling she coming) , yet bin still say wont de lA. ~. ~ see him say till so fake make it more obvious. nVm lA~ i oso miss her mA..i told her i wanna see her oso..keke.. xD see dao her le kinda happi~ heheeh.. wo yue lai yue xi huan ni le.. ah yuN~
i noe tong ku is bound to have. but i dun mind. coz i rather tong ku then losing a person whom no one can replace. a person who can really makes mi love so much tat i can dun care about anything else other than u. and im willing to do anything to make u happi. provided its within my reach..
sian aH! im transferring to CINELEISURE TO WORK! WTF!! hate hate hate>.< cine suX suX suX~ help ah!! wed first day of work there..how am i gonna survive. sob sob T.T wish the colleagues over there is kind and good o.0"
PS: although i felt heartache at times, but i'm fine. i kept feeling so tired. this doesnt seems like myself. i thought i'm manage to shorten my slping time from 12hrs per day till 3 to 5 hrs? but y now i felt so tired? is it becoz of.........? i not sure. haiz... wanna find one full day which i can be alone n sort everything out. but when would tat be? my schedule is so packed that i cant even find one day free. zhe me ban?
i dun care its worth it or not. i juz wanna let u noe tat no matter wad i will be there for u. and pls stop suaning mi>.<" pianG~ shou bu liao lE.. i gonna become more fat liaO~
well, today is damn tired. i slept at 3am then woke up at 8am. then chat on msn till 1pm then go prepare for work then work from 3-11. till now then reached home and start blogging now.
hee. im glad u remember the 2 phrases. take care of urself k? if he bully u or betray u, let mi noe. coz either of the thing he did, it will make u upset which i doesnt wan to see u upset. i wan u to onli feel happiness as long as i live. hehe.. he makes u sad, i make u happi. he makes u cry, i lend u my shoulder. he bully u, i protect u. no matter wad i will be there for u! ^^ hehe~ xD
i noe tat waiting will be hurtful. but i dun mind. coz i noe its all worth it if i wait. i dun mind being hurt again and again and again, i onli mind when i dun have anymore chance. i will treat u the same as i did in the past, i hope u can too. although there r alot of times i noe wad u're thinking. but right now, this beri moment, i doesnt noe. im sry. but i will try to think of wad u r thinking. u still remember the phrase i told u? "if u need mi juz sms or gib mi a call. i will 24hrs be there for u no matter where i am de." and this phrase.. "i wan u to feel the best. i wan u to be happi. as long as i see u happi, im happi =] " u still remember this 2 phrases? dun forget k? i dunno if im stupid or wad if my next sentence make sense to anyone. but this is wad i wanna tell u. if u need mi to be there for u even during my working time or schooling time, i will rush there juz for u. i will put down everything im doing even if im out of job or kick out of sch. heartless ppl who think tat im stupid then juz stop seeing my blog then. maybe u would wan to noe, y my love for u is so deep? coz u're the person whom i felt i can share everything wif. i can do anything juz for u. i misses u everytime. i cant stop thinking bout u.
no matter wad decision u made or choose, juz hope u dun regret.
duH! and im listening to this song now.. i don't wanna know.. by mario winans..
like i told alot of ppl this. if u felt the moment is right, then do it. dun regret when the time has passed and u cant do anything bout it. well, this happen to one of my fren. he like a girl, but due to the knowing of the girl not long, he didnt tell her bout anything regarding liking of her. when he felt tat this is the best time to tell her, he suddenly became indecisive and didnt tell the girl bout it. in the end, he missed the change and tat girl didnt noe tat he like her so she went back to her ex. when my fren told mi this, all i can say is... if u really love the girl, dun gib up no matter wad obstacles u met wif. juz choose the best decision which u prefer and not listening to wad others say. tat's all i can say to him...
im not sure whether im able to update my blog so often now le. dun think i will continue update too..sry..
Truth hurt yes everyone know. but does everyone know that not knowing the truth hurts more then knowing? did u ever ask urself this question? how would u feel and which would u choose? i juz went to met my fren. he broke his promise to someone important to him by doing something which he shouldnt when he promise he wont do it. which is.. hurt his own punch. the injury doesnt look serious i understand. coz he has been doing this last time until the promise is made. see my gd fren liddat i dunno wad i can do to help but juz merely at the side accompany him watching him.
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Kena knock by hammer. so pAin!
Punching of wallS~ SHIOK!!!
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Knock by hammer.~~
so paiN! can u feel the pain? haiz..its not knock by hammer or hit the wall. its the cleaning of the fucking stupid paint. as usual, my fucking bloody asshole dad loanshark havnt pay finish and yet he told us he paid everything liao and went in to jail. and now wad? december they came. pour paint and ran off. didnt noe who the fuck it is. and now, they came again. dunno who the fuck it is again! i juz wish i can juz fucking see them ONCE! JUZ ONCE! AT THEM POURING PAINT AT THIS FUCKING DOOR! JUZ ONCE I DUN CARE WHETHER I GO JAIL OR HANGED! I GONNA WHACK THEM UP TILL THEY DUN HAVE TML TO LIVE! FUCK! if it is my bad of luck to have this kinda of thing, y drag my poor mum in toO? she's innocent. she did nth wrong in the past nor now. she's juz a gd mother and normal person in society. y treat her liddat? im juz freaking hurt to see her liddat. i cant stop myself from shreding tears when i saw her eyes filled wif tears. although i didnt shred it infront of her, im hiding in my room alone. writing wif tears in my eyes.. wad can i do to make her stay happi? i even pressuring her when will the divorce succeed when they r already progressing. im really not a gd and filial son. my mum is already in pressure and i add this all to her. haiz..
this incident oso made mi realised something. Human beings have 2 types. 1) helpful 2) gossip. y? a few neighbours offerred help to us but we can handle(coz we already used to it). we appreciate wad they did. Then on the other side, i saw 2 neighbours, GOSSIPPING AROUND LIKE NO TML! they think i cant hear? LOL! my hearing is gd for god sake. well, if they wan, juz let them be. they dun even noe who the fucking ass that go around lending money from loanshark and make mi and my mum in this state. GOSSIP AND GOSSIP AND GOSSIP! fuckers.
i dunno how to say sry to my mum for wad i did in the past. i wanna say sry to her but i dunno how to do it. but i must promise myself. I WILL NEVER SCREAM AT MY MUM AGAIN OR PRESSURE HER NO MATTER WAD! i noe she's really hurt ytd. i broke a promise..for the first time in my life. and the person i broke my promise to is my mum. i promised her to have dinner wif her, and i remembered it yet i wrote a note to her saying i will be going out wif my frens to play then wont be coming back home to eat. i noe she's hurt. but i dunno wad to do. so i thought tat today we can have dinner together. YET THIS THING HAPPEN! totally no mood to eat. although she's no mood to eat, i juz chased her to eat. haiz..now its my turn to eat le. i'll stop here..really sry mum. u're the best mum i ever wan.
PS: sry liyun. sry sry =( miss ya.
ivan ah, last time actually wanna gib u this car is ur birthday present one. but too bad, i needa drive it for myself. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my gan laopo wrote the words for mi =.="
cute mA? she's kissing mi..~~ lOL!! xD
yea yea, listening to it now? my new blog song..nice ma?? xD its naruto de song. i noe its sad. coz this song onli play at naruto anime when there's some1 died. =X LOL!~ i love this song ler..so nice.. xD
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?
This is juz being polite. ^^
i added a new person to my links o.0" hahaha~ she beri pretty woR o.0" lOL~ =P
oh yea, i got 5th position in archery competition today!! total archers should be 40+. and i got a cute little medal home! ^^V but during the archery, alot of problems ah!! the other school buay song us winning so many medals then they go find things to complain and keep disturbing us~ nVm bA~ they r sore loser. well, not the archers but the teachers of their school? lol.. sore loser ^^V their archers r far more better then them~ my score is 283/360~ top score is 319/360. 2nd is 314/360. 3rd is I DUNNO! coz not our sch. 4th is 287/360. 5th is MI~~ 6th is 278/360. the rest no medals ler. so i dunno liao. xD THE END! dun wanna write too lonG =P
MY COMPETITION ON 7TH OF SEPT! GAMBATEH NEH! i wish i could score more than 300 over full points of 360. hehehe. xD my training onli 289.. T_T damn stomach~ so hungry on tat time training. lOL~ =X no food=GG(good game) coz cannot hold properly..hand shake like no tml o.0 lOL~ so i gonna eat eat eat then go shoOT! wOOhOO~
today working hab alot of fun wif mi colleagues. splashing water around..coz we having spring cleaning. LOL!~ whole body so smelly and wet taking mrt go home seh. >.<" *chou choU*~
TML TEST! 830-1030 and IM WILL BE BACK HOME! LOL~ lame seh.. take so long ride there and come home but onli stay at sch for 2hrs. LAMEEEEEE!!!! LOL~ k la..gotta go pom pom and orh orh liao le..WAN AN DA JIA~ muackZ~ (onli muack to girls but guys. LOL!!!) xD
Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results. No explaination. That's all. Take care and enjoy ur day everyone! =]
