i have never been left alone no matter where i am, wad im doing, when it is. it feel so great to always have some1 around coz i wont feel lonely. i love the way it is juz like how the world rotate every seconds. sometimes, something seems so near already yet its actually beri far. so far tat u see it wif ur own eyes, yet unable to feel it, touch it, sense it but onli see. tat's all one can do, and tat's call so near yet so far. something meant to be unspoken is far more better than knowing. knowing it may hurts, not knowing it maybe will not hurt as much as knowing it. but being kept in the dark till everyone else knew it except u, tat will be the time which hurt the most. isnt it true? think wif ur heart and not brain on wad i have written and u will understand wad everything meant.
wapiang eh, CA asked mi to cut my hair and dye back black color today. sian seh. i had been chosen as one of the class rep therefore i have to show gd attitude. wad kinda of sh1t is this! y choose me seh? i so bad boi lei. really dun understand but since he chose, bobian lo~ juz be gd boi for this month, next month color back if possible! =D my hair gonna cut short le..sad seh~ some more onli say the back of my hair long? -.-" weird lecturers! loL~ my classmates all became suspicious bout me. y? coz im suddenly beri hardworking.. loL!~ i juz love the way it is now. ^^ heheh.
schooling seems so fun nowadays. felt so great to be in sch~ the company of my classmates, lecturers, food, pool, studies and most importantly, CHIOBUS! lol!~ remember i said there r beri little? well, its juz tat WOODLANDS AREA TAKING 168 TO SCHOOL IS NONE! tat's y i named it little. but actually there's still quite alot if i go self-declare break often. =D saw afew and really attract my attention so i juz keep looking like an ah pek.~ lol! jk lar. im not tat kind. i juz glance and tats it. lol~
everything is so peaceful now. i've become more peaceful. will i become wad i was in the past again? i dunno. but i will try not to! walking in the rain makes mi feel warmth. walking in the sun makes mi feel cooling. staying inside classrooms for lesson makes mi feel happi. staying in my room makes mi feel sleepy. I JUZ LOVE IT SO MUCH! noticed y rain is warmth and sun is cooling? coz i juz felt so. =D
im in love wif u. greatly fall for u. can't forget the smile on ur face. dun wanna lose u. can't stop missing u. can't stop loving u. juz like being wif u days & nights. till dawn bring us apart which will never happens. may the happiness last foreva~ juz u...&...me... =D
wondering how's bin, zean, ryan, sheng, wei, thomas doing. how's their life.. kinda miss gathering wif them but there's always time when there's some1 who didnt turn up. who noes. well, its juz liddat. cant do anything oso rite? everyone busy wif their life. schworks(impossible?), girls(alot?), work(maybe?), NS MAN(u noe who u r?).
最猛的是我有傻傻的勇气
如果没有奇迹我创造一个给你
好的坏的都是我的要撑到底
你让我相信我可以
梦想紧紧握在手中
人就能自信满满的向前走
希望收藏在胸口
心就学会要说no拒绝脆弱
因为你在我的左右
因为心中有彩虹
伤痛让我开始不同
我哭过更加成熟决心已启动
希望收藏在胸口
心就学会要说no拒绝脆弱
因为你在我的左右
因为心中有彩虹
最猛的是我有傻傻的勇气
如果没有奇迹我创造一个给你
好的坏的都是我的要撑到底
你让我相信我可以
曾经受伤的我
以为世界只剩寂寞
是你找回我笑容
你的温柔陪我坚持到最后
最猛的是我有傻傻的勇气
如果没有奇迹我创造一个给你
好的坏的都是我的要撑到底
你让我相信我可以
nice song huh? heh..i love it. =D today kinda long update bobian..heheh.
Anonymous said...
我也想找一个能一起变老的人.但心却做不到.已经伤痕累累的它,只想安安静静的走下去.不想在受伤了.
Eagle Ivan said...
心是你的，只有你能让它重新开启。很多人都被爱伤过，那是人生必经的一段路。没有遇到错的人，就学不会如何对待将来会出现的那个对的人。If love don't hurts, it probably wasn't love to start with.
nice rite? i oso think tat its true! we always have the same thinking becoz we r BROTHERS! lol~ xD feel so gd to have u as my koR~ keke
siao liao maN~ dunno how to survive next week sia. this week work 1 day onli already half dead. next week work 2 days lei..how how how? dun care la! juz jia you for myself! coz i must be energetic to entertain ppL! as well as looking out for others and taking care of others! xD jia you jia you` kekee..
may happiness be brought wif u and mi~
kope from ivan de blog... beri nice..
Often, we find ourselves saying that we do things for other ppl own good. However, we failed to realize that no matter if it's really for their own good or nt, they might nt appreciate at all. We're instead seen as busybodies. So the next time u wana do sth that u think it's for some else's own good, think twice.
When we care too much, we seem 2b intruding their privacy or restrict their freedom. I guess most of us felt that way frm our parents since young. Sometimes, we really dun understand until we're in their shoes. And the person who cares would slowly be tired from all those caring. Coz he/she was nt being appreciated & might even be treated with the worst attitude.
Maybe, we juz have to learn to MYOB. (Mind Your Own Business) haha =) It's hard not to meddle wif ur love ones affairs, however when we learn to do that, we might be happier ourselves. Y bother when they dun care how u feel, rite? Give it up!
Have u ever love some1? I guess most of us did, so do I. I'm still loving alot of ppl! Have u ever hate some1? I guess hate is a v.strong feeling & nt alot of ppl went thru that. That's good! Coz hate is an unbearable feeling, worse than lonliness.
But do you noe wat's the feeling beyond hate? To me, I guess it's immune, infeeling/feeling-less (if there're such words lah).When you hate some1, you feel irritated by their every words/actions. However, when u go passed that stage & become immune, u no longer get annoyed by what they do/say. Coz it no longer matters anymore.
Describing that feeling thru words is juz too diff. You would only noe it when u've been there yourself. But may every1 of u do not need to reach that stage. It's like u've 走火入魔. A path of no return - nth can salvage it anymore.
nice eh?heheh..
okie, back to my updates~ today lesson is interesting. and i asked teacher 1 question when he talk bout secruity for computer. i asked: "is there any computer which is flawless?" guess the reply, no? its not no. its "u dun connect to the internet and dig a underground of 30th floor then ur computer put there will be flawless le." noe the meaning now? MEANING EVERY COMP IS FLAWED! LOL. so its time to find out how to make full use of this flawed. =D its not easy to do it but i dun mind giving it a try. ^^ heheh.
i finally understand y all this happened. its all my wrong-doing. i noe im blaming myself. but im juz love to blame myself. for not being a better person. i dun wan to limit myself to this stage or tat stage. i juz wanna keep improving and be a better person, not for u, not for anyone, but for myself. when i became a better person for myself, then im able to be a better person for other ppl. ppl always say, "there's no one who is perfect is this world." actually i disagree after some thoughts. y? there's no one perfect, but do u ever think another way? there's still ppl who r perfect in the other ppl heart, but not perfect in another person heart? its the way of how u think, and not the ways of how ppl name it. its quite tiring this past few days, been studying and trying to absorb everything lecturers taught. but its not easy ok? as everyone noes, im a lazy or DAMN lazy person to go and listen and even remember it. but now im trying! i wanna do well for myself! hehe.
omFg! ytd school is damn stupid. i cant believe tat the fat chinese pig is the CID of the huang na case! omFG! he's so fucking fat chinese pig lor! sian. really cant imagine it.. he..solve case? -.-" SWEAT LAR! l0l! duh dun care le lar. kinda excited ytd, saw few chiobus. =DD so happi. l0l! then enjoy and hav fun wif my classmates! l0l! so much fuN! then at nite reached home chat on fone wif yin for few hrs then while playing dota and talk to her. l0l! then i told my classmates i cant really concentrate on farming. loL! bobian lar, hahaha. i was thinking something, then on the fone, and playing dota as well as sending songs to ym. l0l! so damn blur~ hahahah! i can at most onli handle 2 things at 1 time! lol! =\
today sch, wake up so early went to sch so early start lesson at 8am, i reached at 830am but im not late. =D then teacher started at 835am. lucky~ coz if i miss out even juz 5mins, its gone case. coz this subject is all bout web design. none of the lesson r allow to skip! then during lesson there's like 5mins of time i fall aslp. its so damn freaking tired and boring. tsunami keep talk and talk and talk. coz he gotta rush all the theory in the 3hrs and give us 30mins to do some work. been talking for 3hrs and onli a break of 5mins in between! omG! the 5mins i fall aslp, i fall back so many things. but i tried to understand. thru tsunami recap lucky im able to catch up. and the work he wanted us to do is easy! its onli linking from this website to another by using a program call visual web development 2005 express edition. but wad we do is juz to show tat the homepage is link to another page which shows tat its still under construction. l0l! i did till the last step and tsunami walk to mi see how i progress, and he said: "WTH? U DO SO FAST!" i kena shocked by him. fast mEh? coz i dunno oso tat i do so fast. then i see my classmates and others they still at step 3-4. which is 5-6steps behind mi. =.=" then i finished everything i go around helping others as well. heheh =D I LOVE THIS SUBJECT!! WOOHOO! RAWKS MAN!
time will heal everything. but it wont solve nor stop the mistakes. like wad i told ya, if u asked mi to do it, i will and it onli need mi to take juz 1 day to forget everything. noe y? coz IM A FLIRT! AND I CAN ACT TILL U CANT EVEN SEE THRU! HAHAHA! u dunno the real meaning of flirt. get on wif life man! GET FUCKED AND CRIED TAT U LOST UR VIRGINITY! DUN CRIED TILL LIKE NO TML WHEN TAT REALLY HAPPENS! COZ U CHOSE IT. TAT'S THE LIFE U WANTED. AND LOST VIRGINITY IS ONE THING, U GET PREGNANT AND HE DITCHED U, TAT'S THE TIME U WILL FEEL TAT U CHOSE THE WRONG CHOICE.
i noe its abit doesnt look like me, but i juz feel like saying it out! =D
yin, thx for everything! u wake the damn hell up of mi! lol! i love u!! =DD
its over for her and me. im not gonna broad over it. its the past. memories r not allowed to be kept as well between us. heart is dead. feeling is gone. life is back to normal. juz 1 word tat i wanna hear and she said it. tat's the word..."give up". i noe i did cried for few hrs, but tat's the last and final time im gonna cry. as a guy, then gotta meant his word. i swear upon my words! i changed blog link reason is simple. u should noe. its time to vanish from her life. =]
today lesson is damn fucking funny and enjoyable! i love sch too! saw quite afew chiobus. =D y lesson funny? got alot of funny things though, some is created by me de..kinda lame for mine. but i wont say it out. xD i will say bout the others de. teacher got say bout a internet service provider call I-CELL then one classmate was half aslp and woke up say "I SELL WAD?" l0l! so damn funny. another one is i asked teacher bout the fibre optic y need to have specialist to fix it. he wanted to draw the wire..and show us the inside of it and draw till look like a DICK! AND WHOLE CLASS LAUGH LIKE FUCK. then he erase away and draw again. AND THE MORE IT LOOK LIKE IT! he kept doing tat for 4-5times and finally gave up. we all laugh till cannot breath. l0l. after awhile we asked him bout the CIP point. he said if we join the dunno wad go toa payoh hub can get 6hrs of CIP points. 11am-5pm on 5th may. hahah. and we asked needa wear sch uniform or not but he dunno so he go asked another teacher. when he received the msg back thru email, he showed it to us. it goes liddat: "yo fren, u think wad ah? bringing them like primary school kid to excursion? y need to wear sch uniform sia! juz wear a jeans and a T-shirt will be fine. i'll try to help u ask and inform u later." l0l!!! SO FUNNY! hAHahA!
teacher gave us 1 IQ question. 10 10 10 (add 1 stroke to it to make it 9:50) l0l. =D
first saw u was an angel. after knowing makes mi happi. after understanding u gives mi hopes. after liking u makes mi feel the love. after loving u makes mi wanna gib u everything i could.
wadeva it is, dun stress urself so much. remember to rest well and take gd care of urself.
i misses ur voice, ur smiles, ur happinesses and everything bout u.
is there a distance between u and mi? wad causes it? or its juz my imagination? or its true? or izzit u're tired of everything happening around u which causes u alot of stress? or izzit im the one who causes it?
today went to sch, so tiring. slept at 230am and woke up at 630am. went to take bus to sch. slowly take my time to walk then reached sch 820am i think. lesson started at 8am but its ok. CA going thru the rules and regulations in class. *yawn* so boRing. juz act as if im listening but actually im sleeping wif eyes open. =x then continue next lesson same things again. boRing! and break time went to play pool. damn noob now. dunno y. cant even aim properly. =[ went for lesson at 2pm to 330pm and watched a show call...hotel rwanda. nice show. love the killing stabbing. =DD l0l!! but onli able to watch for 30mins, and the rest is to do customer services things. BORING! went to cwp wif ah wei to get my things as well as buy dinner for miself. then home we go. reached home kinda moody. reason? unknown....... rot and rot and rot. till now. still ROTTING. lol.
1 news to report to sotong. i dunno whether i tell u bout looking at chiobus in my sch will affect ur mood or not, but if it dids, pls let mi noe k? if u say no, i will not look at them. =D heheh. xiao xiao woR!
ytd went out wif zean and bin. bought a wallet and a mickey mouse shoe for miself. bin bought a gothic suits wif the same mickey mouse shoe as mine! we went to eat at yuki yaki for our dinner. its nice! the accompany tats wif mi makes it feel great! heheh. i juz love it to eat together wif my families, cuzzies n brothers! enjoy and chat so much! hahah. after tat bin and zean went home and i went over to find sotong. passed her her shoe she wanted mi to help her collect and oso gave her a mickey bag. she like it. im happi ^^ heheh.
tat should be all le bah..hehh..
for bin onli, u really intend to do it? can u bear to do it?
today went to work was beri active and keep joking around. then around 6+ start to feel gastric pain. actually its onli abit painful so didnt really care. then called s0t0ng and chat awhile. helping her to solve the connection prob. in the end still didnt solve. so wait till tml see how bah. then i went to eat dinner at 7+ and at this time my gastric is more painful le. then i continue hiew lan till i ate halfway really beri pain till i cannot ignore. and my face turns pale. jie jie noticed it and asked mi wad happened, i say "here pain" while pointing there. coz i dunno tat is wad oso. i onli noe when uncle told mi its gastric pain. they r so caring and concern bout me. ask mi to rest awhile first. but i dun wan coz i dun wan to slack as there's still hab customers keep coming in. juz tried mi beri best to do as much as i can. then 8+ its so pain till i cant even really stand straight, so i went to squat at one corner awhile. so painful!! stay there for like around 5mins? then better abit onli then i stand up and start to hurt again so i went to squat again. and in the end i doing everything either squating or benting down. i juz cant stand straight.
until 9+ finally its ok le. no more hurt nth anymore. kinda happi bout it. then i called her awhile and chat awhile she had 2nd line came in. she come back to mi ask mi to go do closing first, tonite reached home than call her back. then i asked who called and she said its.. i started to feel jealous and unhappi. but wad can i do? i can do nth.. onli to let her do wad she wants. i even told her tat im jealous and she say dun jealous. got so easy not to jealous? u gib him number didnt even tell mi. haiz.. kinda upset, hurt and jealous. but i can onli keep it in silence.
after i off work at 11 i called her, she still on the fone wif him. getting more pissed. she doesnt even care bout wad i think? i was thinking bout tat in my mind at tat moment. but wad can i do? nth at all. haiz.. juz end call and feel the hurt. then when i reaching home tat time i called her and she's aslp.. haiz.. is this really waiting for my call? im really beri hurt. play mu oso no mood to play. juz shut it off. haiz. i guess when i called her during the time she sleeping she doesnt even hear in wad i said. rite?
can u at least think bout how i would feel pls? its not tat i dun let u noe more frens, its juz tat u didnt even tell me bout it.. haiz.. cant get to sleep. no mood to play games. nth to do. juz rot to the fucking hell.
*edited* watched the movie of "the Mimzy" and its kinda weird. is it really true be4 human was born we r aliens? l0l! dunno oso lei. ahahah.
*edited* had a long chat from 5am+ to 7am+ which my mum went to work. didnt really sit down and had a nice talk wif her. feel so gd after tat. heheh. i love my mum! xD my mum went to work le so now here im online. anyway, i intend to sleep at 4am, went to bed flip here and there till 5am+ which my mum woke up le but i still cant sleep tat's y i chat wif her. so..i didnt sleep at all. =\
SuRprIsE...
today wake up still beri sleepy. bobian but die die must wake up coz gotta go work. then on the train i wanna fall aslp le then at yio chu kang got 1 guy walk in. GOTHIC SEH! BUT DAMN AH GUA DE GOTHIC! OMFG! I SEE LIAO DANM AWAKE SEH! omFG! then i drop off at orchard than still beri awake. danm er xin sia. then work work work still beri awake lia0. till around 6pm+ i start to sleepy le. make 1 shot espresso to drink. still sleepy. T_T cham ah, then i tell jie jie i sleepy then she say drink some more espresso. then i scare drink le tonite cannot sleep. l0l. so didnt drink. go make citrus frost drink. SOUR SOUR!~ abit wake up. l0l.
then i found out tat im really beri long didnt read newspaper le. bout a 2yr old girl kena killed de story everyone noe except me. but now i noe wad actually happened le. sad for the little girl.
work dao 930 i called sotong and she told mi she going bbq. i was like.."WTF? so late still go. say tired de person still dun wan go home sleep. i totally bwg." then around 940 i start doing closing le.
at 945 got customers came in.. lucky wan food order but kitchen closed le then they go le. whahaha..then 10 got another one. -.-" but jie jie say close so CLOSE! whaha. i almost break alot of things while working. but none broke. kekeke. wash plate wash halfway the plate slipped and fall onto another big plate then the big plate have 1 chilli cup on top of it and it started to fly up and fall back down. then "BRANK! BRANK!" 2 times seh. then i look at kitchen uncle and goes "hehehehe". l0l. then he smile back at mi. l0l. then after tat went out to bar jie jie asked wad happened i said: "hehehe, just washing then liddat. dun worry, nth break!" l0l! then when i saw the cup beri messy. i wanna arrange nicely then 1 espresso cup fall off from BEHIND! THEN "BRANK!" then jie jie juz beside mi and look at mi. =.=" then i smile and goes "hehehehe". l0l! then jie jie say "ken ah, can u try not to break anythings today or not ah?" l0l! then i go check lucky didnt break. put it back nicely. =X l0l!
dunno y work till liddat seh. izzit becoz of too tired? l0l. dunno oso la. but lucky is never break. keke. wanna onli maintain at wad i broke so far. 1 ASS TRAY! y i say ASS instead of ASH? BECOZ ITS DANM SHITTY ASS TRAY. l0l! =X
tat's all for today! happi reading ah? l0l!
when i came home from work ytd, on the mrt, i recall of my childhood life. Every sat i will be sleeping at the living room wif my mum and watch tv till i fall aslp. i dunno y but i just love to sleep at the living room at blk 212. it seems so cooling and fun. and sunday morning wake up i will be able to eat my fav roti prata. although i did this for many yrs, but im still not sick of it. really miss my childhood of tat little happiness i had.
My mum worried bout me even be4 i go NS. if i'll to go in i wonder how many days she will take to fang xin. wad can i do to stop her from worrying if i'll to go in? i dunno how.. see her so worried i start to feel uncomfortable. she told mi this: "mama zhi you ni yi ge hai zi er yi." after i heard this my heartache. WAD IF and IF something really happen by accident on me, i really gonna hate myself for not being careful. so by not making her worry as much i replied: "hai zi ye zhi you mama yi ge er yi. Wo hui hao hao zhao gu zi ji de. Bu yong dang xin." i hoped after i told her this she feel better. i dun wan her to worry bout mi and giving herself more stress. she said go NS dun ever join firemen for their training is didnt get out of the building within the limited time, the escape route will be closed and u gonna find another way out. she say beri dangerous. i dunno oso but i definitely dun like firemen. i prefer police cadet. =D
today went to work. had a bad headache. went to buy panadol to eat. after awhile better le. jie jie ,auntie marie and mama beri concern bout me. keep asking ok liao not. heheh. then chit chat tok tok then till closing tat time 10pm liao lei! and still got customer walk in order drinks and food. then manager say serve. so serve lo. bobian. then do closing do dao lai 1025 liddat le. so late. T_T
yun, actually im worried bout u and abit dulan. for more info, ask mi bah.
this is my desktop look like.. 0.0"
how many more times must my tears fall be4 im able to stop...
im really glad we always sort everything out nicely everytime. heheh.
feeling of out of heaven and earth and went to hell. try and feel the difference and once reached the ultimate place in hell, there will be an evil reborn.
friday working damn sick. work wif tat auntie and damn pissed. she keep coming out to bar area. so sian, dun wan see her she still come out. sick of it. sian sian sian! and some more she thursday do closing didnt do properly than blame on another colleague say she didnt do properly. as a shift in charge, shouldn't her be the one to check on wad is not yet done? onli noe how to push blame. fucker. and eventhough she kept walking out to bar area, and im still washing things, she cant even go and clear the cups and plates when customers left? y must ask mi to do it when she juz stand there and watch? is this really call teamwork? its call TALKWORK. crap. didnt close properly and push blame. and can even say this is her 1st time do closing when SHE WORK FOR 3YRS? dun tell mi she dun even noe tat the basic oso dunno lor. excuses onli. some more last time still can say "ken, u didnt clean this, didnt do tat." so easy u dun even do properly loR! knn.
sat went out wif bin and sotong. went to k session at marina square de. sing sing from 330 to 6+ going 7 than went to bugis coz sotong wan to collect her shoe but in the end its not wad she like de. so the boss say she will redo for her and can go back collect on sat. so gd lei the boss. l0l. after tat went to cineleisure for dinner. ate at yoshinoya and talk talk talk then zean came to find us. then we went to PS to walk walk awhile then mi send sotong home le. bin and zean go back woodlands after tat le.
yun, juz to tell u. i dunno whether u noe im moody or not, but to tell u the truth, im moody after u told mi tat. i really fear u will go back to him. but i dunno how to use words to speak to u directly so i write here. if u really chose to go back, i really can do nth anymore and zhuan shu tian shi will be gone foreva.
all bout myself. xD
You are a more active person, drawing a clear line between happiness and unhappiness. You are more quick-tempered. If you encounter things you like, you will do it without second thought. But once you encounter things that you hate, you will wish to get out of it as soon as possible. As you are a person of your own views, the friends you tend to have will be of the same pattern. But once good friends, you will understand them a lot and go all the way to help then. Friends are very dependent on you. As you are too emotional, you may make a storm out of a teacup with your friends. You must learn to do things in order and not give up easily. You can try making friends with those you don't think you can get along with, don't stick with the same category. This will make you more popular and charming.
If your personal colour is blue, you are introspective and purposeful by nature. You hold conservative beliefs and under stressful conditions, prefer to withdraw into gentler surroundings. You seem to have a lot of control over your passions and desires, but are sensitive to the needs and feelings of others, nonetheless. You are a loyal friend and would prefer to lead a sober life.
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
nice eh? l0l.
went to funan to collect router for ben dan. then damn idiotic is tat person say must present IC than can take. sadded. then i fone her ask her bring IC come then i went to walk walk awhile then thirsty so went to mac buy an ice milo to drink. then sit down at mac enjoy playing my game on fone. l0l. play halfway she called mi say reached le then i go kFC meet her then went to collect.
went to her house cannot fix coz cable box one side spoiled le. onli left the other side and her bro do stunt by putting a modem there wif nth connect to it. and she said he told her mother tat wanna test. i wondering test wad? juz a modem and nth. and no PC connected to it as wad the modem light is blinking. really beri weird. so stupid.
went out wif ben dan to catch movie of mr bean holiday at vivo then walk walk abit then go back her house to fix everything le. now everything done le. she can online liao. lol. and guess wad? I DIDNT EAT ANYTHING TILL 11PM FOR THE WHOLE DAY. ONLI THE ICED MILO. L0L. pro lei. then stomachache lo so bobian must buy something eat. hheh. i buy sambal fried rice for UR info. heheh.
wo hui yi zhi deng xia qu zhi da0 wo shou dao minniE~ heheeh
