ALL WAS FAKE. NOTHING IS REAL FROM THE START.. ITS ALL A LIE
tat's all for today
wad does care really means? can some1 xplain it to mi in details? i've been feeling bothered lately. i felt so tired. wanna take a gd rest thruout 1 whole day. but i cant, i got to work, got to earn money, if not how can i survive?
today went to watch final destination 3..its so nice, but yet i fall aslp..too tired le..onli watch like 30mins? onli till the 2 girls tanning part..then i fall aslp le..damn my buddies, didnt wake mi up oso..make mi cant watch finish. =( and they kept saying "WALAO SO DISGUSTING!" which i didnt even see it. =( then wanting msged mi. said her fren wanna beat mi coz i diao them. lol..was wondering since when did i diao them? who cares. i dare admit i didnt, if they wan find mi trouble juz come. as if im scare? wad i do is not fight but self-defence. which means i will get beaten first and make them live in hell after they beat mi. =P who cares..more ppl but reaction slow is oso useless even if they r holding on weapons.
been betting on soccer bets lately. thx to all this bets tat im able to cont to survive. if not i got to borrow money again to eat. =( i bet beri small onli. at most $10.. hehe..total wins got like > $70 le..hehe..small bet win alot ler.. big bet= lose alot. loL! dun be greedy. when i bet i always hav this in mind. keke^^V
im became gd boi le. dye hair back to brown brown le. no more colorful hair. lol.. look so innocent.. duh o.o! haha..
there's seems to be internal quarrel within my cz clan. im sort of inactive lately and so many things happened. dunno how or wad to help oso. so many ppl leaving clan. kinda upset, wad is all this bonds for? u wanna come and we let u, but u wanna leave without thinking thru? how much fun and pain we went thru. did any of u think be4? even if u cant think wif ur brain, think wif ur heart!
haiz.. miss all my old frens. wondering how they r doing now. those jy frens, maple frens and mu frens. it seems tat online frens r far more enjoyable together than going out wif frens. dunno y ler.. haha..
jwen: u seems beri busy even since u entered sec1. lol..stress liao ah? haha..
qiqi jie: i update liao le! lol..
ivan: ok..i will try to talk to u de. hee =P u can approach mi too! ^^
IQ question.
Xiao ming takes 1hr to go from his house to grandma house thru walking. he went over in the morning and took 1hr. then at nite when he going home he take 2 half hrs to reach home. Why is this so? (he walk the same speed and same distances, no shortcuts or anything.) LEAVE UR ANSWER AT MY TAGBOARD. HAHA =P
18th feb..went out wif her and yu jie and yu jie de hubby. they taught her poa and a maths. its so enjoyable to be wif her. hehe.. then when yu jie fren called her..asked her where is she, she said teaching my cousin de ger O's lvl thing. PENGZ! she looked at mi and i looked back at her..pengZ so awkward..after tat accompany her home..then rush over to marina bay to eat STEAMBOAT! haha..didnt noe how to go actually. ah sheng told mi see superbowl can press bell liao. i see it i press..ended up alight too early. loL! but nvm la. they still find mi. loL! then went to eat.. yum yum.. XD after tat intend to go douby ghaut to play dota..then NO MORE BUS TRANSPORT!! luckily, maxis cab came in..asked us wanna hav a trip not..then its 30dollar from there to douby ghaut. keke..7 of us took it to go over there. =D play dota quite fun wif them..haha..after tat shop closed, we went to I.R.C to check whether got spaces or not..in the end..no spaces..so we went to city hall de mac to eat and stay there till got MRT. loL! eat finished we chit-chat till 6am than walk to mrt station. omG!! NO MRT YET! wait till around 620am then got mrt..so bored..reached home at 710am..
19th feb.. came home didnt slp oso..play dota..haha.. then after tat went to play bowling wif sheng,wei,ran,thomas and yp. having so much fun but im so noob. T_T first time play bowling..hurt my thumb. pain pain.. lol.. then after tat play pool..not swimming pool but pool table. loL! play awhile nia than we bored le.. so went back cwp intending to eat and catch a movie. lol! had pizza hut. left 5 of us. ran ps us.. lol. 5 of us ate $60 sia.. omG..so X..$60 can let mi eat for 1week ler. loL! then after tat catch a movie called PINK PANTHER! OMFG! ITS SO FREAKING HELL LAME AND FUNNY! LAUGH LIKE MAD! LOL!! when finished watching movie i went to meet her. acc her do hw and study for her common test. hee.. so happi to be together wif her for so long at library. few times she sits so near mi and im testing her her geo. she was feeling so cold..her hands is so much colder than mine.. maybe i noe y she sits so near mi..to feel warm? haha.. was intending to hold on her hands to keep her hands warm but felt she may dislike so in the end didnt do it. >.<" was really beri happi at tat moment. but i kept yawning. didnt hav enff slp.. T_T n when im keep coughing, she so care for mi. keep chasing mi go buy drink. and i keep saying no wan. loL!=X after tat went kfc, she buy food to eat.. then home we go!
today working was smsing wif her. and suddenly she didnt reply mi for 2hrs. i called her up and she curp my fone. dunno wad happened. and i called again and she did the same. i smsed her again and she didnt reply. then when i reached home i called again. same thing.. and i smsed to ask if anything happened..no reply. and so i recalled wad i did which makes her dun wanna answer my call or reply mi. but i dunno wad i did wrong. so i juz apologise to her if i did anything wrong. she replied mi saying she was feeling down and therefore didnt wanna answer my call or reply me. i asked her wad happened? she juz tells mi "coz of certain reasons." so i told her when we meet up liao than we tok bout it. but she didnt say anything bout it. so i asked her..she said nth.. dun wanna force her..so i didnt ask anymore..she told mi she ignore my call coz she dun wanna trouble mi.. and i had told her alot of times, if there's any prob juz tell mi. i will help her in any ways i could. she replied, not feeling gd ma.. i asked her y dun feel gd? she said coz we r onli frens.
she said sry to mi..i asked y? she told mi she scare she will fall for him(a flirt which she told mi). but wad can i do? i seriously dunno wad to do..so i juz tell her tat i hope she wont regret it.. and she said if she were to regret, she dun wanna get into anymore bgr. then wad for be wif him? i dun understand..i really dun understand.. been wif a flirt is far more better than a person who cares bout u? always wif u when u're down? be there for u even when he dun mind going out late at nite juz to noe u're safe? accompany u till late nights everyday juz to hope u aint bored doing hw? helped u do ur hw when u hav so much hw to do and unable to finish? accompany u whenever u asked for, and didnt reject even once? and wad had he done for u? flirt wif u? haiz.. so i asked her 2questions, one: am i such a failure tat i did so much n yet unable to make u like me? and two: y u doesnt wan mi to giv up? if the answer is something hurtful, it will be hard to see the cheerful mi again..
i told my mum not to disturb mi by writing a note and left it on table. locked my door now alone inside my dark room. smsed to my colleague and told him to tell my supervisor tat im not going to work tml. i juz wan some time alone..
its has been so many times when im feeling down, everyone seems to be avoiding mi..when they hav prob, im always there for them. y is this happening? cant i even hav some1 to listen to mi? izzit really tat hard? i hate my life.
juz now went downstairs wif mum to vista point. i told her about mi fren able to get allowance from his parent eventhough his working and doesnt need to giv money to his parent. and she told mi, blame urself for being born in this family. y blame myself? y not u? u hav a live and dead road to choose? y u rather choose dead road? there's one live road juz beside it and u dun wanna choose. i dun understand. tat's wad i replied. she juz sighed.
cong, i quit drinking beri long liao. thx though.
wad is the best way to end a person life? wifout pain and suffering. coz the pain i had now is already painful enff to torture mi. i dun wanna add on anymore pains.
today valentine day. wish everyone had a happi valentine day together wif ur loves one, frens, family or colleagues. im sure no matter who u celebrate it wif, u sure r enjoying and hav a fun time together. my colleagues all went off at 4pm today. left mi and suriani and some aunties to work till 6pm. kinda boring..lucky there's jess to sms wif mi. if not im bored to death. haiz..too bad she's not free to go out wif mi.. coz of meetings and tons of hws..nvm..it's ok.. off work, she told mi maybe she can go out do hw, then i acc her. i said ok..then once she's done tell mi. god.. i reached home mum called back ask mi do this do tat..till 725pm already..and i called her then she said its quite late. than go there do onli like 1hr or so got to go home. coz she gtg home at 9pm. than cancelled.. didnt go le..kinda sad oso..but nvm..on fone wif her awhile, chit-chat abit than she asked mi to call later. tat later never come anymore. coz mum got letter for mi. M1 bill, NS letter and my pay slip. open up pay slip first, coz mum beside..very fucking kpo. she saw the pay slip wrote 700+. and said. y u got so much money? and u tell mi no money? wtf. pls lor. tat pay is 700+, but got minus cpf. left 500+ and u took fucking 250. wad's more left for mi? nnb..then open up ns letter. she thought wad? money again huh..kao..always money money money.. then she walked off. i opened up my M1 bill.. FUCK! HOW AM I GONNA PAY THIS BILL! $310!! WIF NEW FONE NUMBER ADD UP IS $360!! kao..take calculator.calculated my next pay. lucky enff to pay off and return ivan money. owe him for like 1month le i think.. haiz..felt so awkward. my life is like "i wont be able to stop borrowing money from ppl". this is the life im leading..u will say, y giv mum so much when i dun even hav enff to spend? well, u try. i told her. "mum, im not enff money to eat le. i cant giv u money next pay." she will giv mi a sad look and i suppose no need to giv. when pays come, "xiong, remmeber $250." wtf? u will say..dun giv her la! u think i can? its ur mum. will u be able to do so? lucky next pay i doesnt need to giv, coz i giv her once a month. juz gave her onli so next pay all for bills. and im left wif nth again..taking money can still tolerate. but guess wad? SHE WENT AROUND LOOKING AT MY DRAWERS, WALLETS, HP SMSES AND FONE CALLS! WTF! ITS LIKE NO FUCKING PRIVACY! IVAN! MY THIS FUCKING MUM IS GONNA BE THE SAME AS UR DAD! KAO!! BERI SOON IM SURE I GONNA LEAVE HOME! DUN SWITCH ON FUCKING FONE! KAO..REALLY CANT TOLERATE ANYMORE. 1 WORD TO DESCRIBE HER!
SUX!!!
D7 - English
E8 - Humanities
D7 - E Maths
C6 - Combined Sciences(Physic And Chemistry)
C5 - Mother Tongue(Chinese)
this my result..gd huh? loL! i find its gd. coz its much more better than wad i expected. i thought my english E8 human F9 maths C6 science D7 de.. but ended up liddat. o.o! lol.. anyway, there's still 1 course in SP which is architecture offered to mi. 33points..haha..most probably cant in. wont be putting much hope. but i wrote it in as well. the 12 courses which i wrote..
1 - ARCHITECTURE (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)
2 - INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY (ITE COLLEGE WEST (DOVER))
3 - INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY (ITE COLLEGE CENTRAL (TAMPINES))
4 - INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY (ITE COLLEGE EAST (SIMEI))
5 - WIRELESS TECHNOLOGY (ITE COLLEGE EAST (SIMEI))
6 - BUSINESS-INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY (ITE COLLEGE WEST (CLEMENTI))
7 - ACCOUNTING (ITE COLLEGE EAST (SIMEI))
8 - ACCOUNTING (ITE COLLEGE CENTRAL (BISHAN))
9 - ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING (ITE COLLEGE CENTRAL (TAMPINES))
10 - ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING (ITE COLLEGE WEST (DOVER))
11 - ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING (ITE COLLEGE WEST (DOVER))
12 - ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING (ITE COLLEGE EAST (SIMEI))
haha..all so far..haiz. next time go sch gonna be damn tired liao. siansation. T_T but wad to do..no choice oso ma..so.. liddat lo.. alot of my frens did well. most of them got 1 digit and oso 10+ de. some of them got 20+ and lesser ppl got 30+ like mine. congrat to everyone though. finally finished O's. we r all becoming older. haha..
kinda dislike getting in to ITE. coz gotta wear uniform. sian. i hate wearing uniform, so freaking mafan.. and thanks to everyone for asking my results. haha! =X and at the same time waste my money... y ler? coz smses and fone bill cost money -_-! loL~
ah sheng, didnt noe u will see mi bloggie o.o! haha.. thanks though..
sandy, thanks for offering to help mi but i think i can manage. =P
qi jie, thanks.. i hope so too.. but i felt it wont turn out like wad i hope for..most probably could be the opposite..
so many days didnt blogged. alot of things happened. cut my fingers and palms. bleed here and there. pain till like im used to it. haha.. dun worry, those cuts is becoz of work. not to release my stress. eventhough im really stress now. damn stress. got my O's result. l1r4 33points. onli have ITE to go. but it seems like there's no ways to pay thru CPF? if cant, im unable to study any further. as most of u noe, my stupid dumb fucking idiotic mum. she's damn stupid.. im really dunno wad i can say to her liao. i onli noe i juz try to avoid her as much as possible. tat's wad i felt. i wanna choose to go NS now.. but i dun wan to be trap inside and unable to see "her". i wanna avoid mum but wan to see "her". wad should i do? i dunno..really dunno. im confused. got my pay recently, $400. gave her $200 left wif $200. how to eat.. my bill is $100+. and i still owe ivan $50. haiz. it's like my debts wont finish. how am i able to hav saving? everyone keep telling mi to SAVE SAVE SAVE! SAVE FUCK? SAVE VIRGIN? SAVE MONEY? SAVE CB LANJIAO MONEY! U TELL MI WHERE CAN I GET THE FUCKING HELL MONEY TO SAVE? nnb..
date her out on this coming valentine day. but she told mi she not sure whether she's free or not. and someone date her as well. wad does this mean? i dunno. haiz.. does i really hav a chance at all? am i really did alot of bad things in the past tat i ended up in this fucking state? do u think i wanted to in the past? ever anyone trying to noe y? NO ONE! YES AND I MEAN NO ONE! NOT A FUCKING PERSON WANNA NOE! EVERYTIME I JUZ HUG MY PILLOW AND CRY! there's nth i can do but this. i still unable to fully trust some1 who can share my prob seriously. am i still as my usual self? the loner. no one to truly befren wif?
i wanna work hard. earn alot of money. but does the company giv mi chance? NO! they juz keep saying. NO OT! NO OT! NO OT! even i wanted to work hard, but no work for mi, how am i able to? and how am i able to hav money to eat? to save? to spend? to giv mum?
suicide? i thought of it be4. but i promised some1 i wont ever think of doing it. so..run away from home? felt like doing so.. but to where? i hav no idea. i hav no money to run away. how to run? haiz..
i am wondering, when they r even unable to support mi, y giv birth to mi? they r juz horny? did things to satisfy themselves? could be. if not y tat bastard still find mistress? he juz damn fucking horny bastard. at times, i'm really glad to born in this world, in this family. but at times i hate it. its the same for everyone too, rite? there's ups and downs in everyone life. i dun believe there's not a single person wifout having any problems.
hehe.. took all this pics during cny.. hehe.. nice ler? WAKAK! XD jealous? loL!
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1st pic is my whole family!! big ler? loL! XD2nd pic is all my aunts and uncles wif my grandpa!^^V
3rd pic is the top 10 cousins including mi! noe which one is 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.
4rd pic is MI AND MY MUM! hehe.. im the one in red. LOL! no la! im the one in orange of coz. loL! XD
this is a joke. lol..
[1.] You accidentally enter your password on the
microwave.
[2.] You haven't played solitaire with real cards in
years.
[3.] The real reason for not staying in touch with
your friends is because they don't have a screen
name.
[4.] You'd rather look all over the house for the
remote instead of just pushing the button on the T.V.
[6.] Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do
your job.
[7.] You read this list, and keep nodding and
smiling.
[8.] As you read this list, you think about sending
it to all your friends.
[9.] And...you were too busy to notice number 5.
[10.] You actually scrolled back up to check that
there was no number 5.
[11.] And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
Bwhahahahaha!! Gotcha fooled! ;p
wa.. kinda long no update le wor. so here i am! updating le.. hehe.. =P hmm.. got a few pics which is beri the weird duh. lol~ taken down and post it le. check it out! ^^
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there's LIGHT UNDER THE SEA! LOL!!!
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this dog eyes is shining o.o! well, most of u noe this trick too. loL!
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wad is so weird about this? CANT U SEE MRT STATION IS EMPTY? LOL..
and er, belated happi new yr.. lol! kinda busy and oso sort of lazy to update. but i still came and update.. haha=P i got new hp le..wan my number? tell mi in either calling my old hp to ask for it be4 march or find mi in msn to ask for it. my new hp is 3G fone ler.. keke.. 6680. lol~ wan vc wif mi can juz tell mi^^V and guess wad? ah wei told mi 10th of feb getting result le! O LEVEL RESULT! he read newspaper and saw it de.. so..die? LOL!!! 10th feb..friday next week..gd luck duh.. lol~
