i'm doing this cause i'm bored.
HAVE U EVER... those with "x" are those that i've done
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) been arrested
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) skipped school
(x) seen someone die
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
( ) been on a plane
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) lain on your back and watched cloud shapes goby
( ) made a snow angel [or rather, attempted to.]
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
( ) gone puddle jumping
( ) played dress up
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake/tremor
( ) been through a hurricane
( ) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
( ) danced in the moonlight
( ) liked the way I look
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) questioned my heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the country
( ) swum in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons
(x) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
( ) made prank phone calls (only idiots and igorant do this. =x )
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came outof your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
( ) gone roller-skating
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) sat on a roof top
( ) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) jumped into a pool/hot tub/lake with all yourclothes on
( ) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
( ) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught an insect with your bare hands
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
( ) French braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) sun tanned naked
( ) ran naked in the rain
better understanding of mi o.o?
intro u guys a song. JJ - Now That She's Gone.
kinda nice..hee..listening to it now.
ger u noe i miss u so~ heee.. =P
today went to work 1 day work. giv out flyers at taka. kinda fast though..1hr gave out all flyers then get 6hrs de pay o.o! $36 for 1hr work! woohoo~ so fun..lol..but onli 1 day nia =( lol~ went to eat wif mi buddies at yokoshiya? wadeva la..my jap sux i noe. ><" dun wanna tok bout sad things. >.<" so onli enjoyable and happi things! hmm.. argh>< cannot dun say.. i missing her badly.. =( haiz.. how i wish i could see or meet her again..wish wish.. my wish will never ever come true. the wish i made for my birthday, wont ever come true le..haiz =(
our steamboat together at marina bay o.o! look like a pool of dustbin food ler? lOL!!!
hAhA..this is the smoking fishball! it shows tat fish can smoke too o.o!
ytd went out wif buddies to eat steamboat than was enjoying ourselves alot. and oso she asked mi out to have lunch wif her on sat which is my birthday ler. ^^ was so happi sia. finally able to see her..hehe.. then after finished eating steamboat we went to douby ghaut to play at lan shop. lol..so enjoyable and fun. =D till 3am++ then we went to take 2 cab back to cwp. coz 7ppl ma -.-" then went to cycle to 888 to grab a bite. finished le we went to vista park to sit down and chit-chat till 7am++ then all went home le. so i came home but i dunno when will she be calling mi to meet her to have lunch. she onli said be4 1pm so i juz stay awake and waited.. till 12pm she havnt sms mi so i asked her.. she replied mi tat we cant eat together le. she got to rush to wdl to return the flag day things and rush back to her church. haiz.. my mood everything gone. no mood for anything. so i went to bed. didnt sleep for 55hrs le. too excited and yet....? slp till 4+ going to 5pm then wake up.. haiz..felt tat im really too gd to ppl le. ppl tend to pang seh or make use of mi. sick of it. dun feel like continuing le. haiz. sian. stop here. wad a gd birthday i had for my 18yrs old birthday. i'll remember it for life le..
okie now. i sacked the boss! LOL! sry duh, kinda late to update. i sacked the boss on friday o.o! kEkE.. today is monday le..penGz. hahah.. hav a gathering dinner wif those sacked colleagues on friday evening at pizza hut. its damn funny, we've been all deciding so long where to eat till finally go to pizza hut. we chat alot there too. haha.. but after awhile i no mood so didnt join them go bowling. sryT_T well, i went home after dinner.
sunday was my clan gathering or can say is annual gathering meeting. hAhA! kinda funny and fun! LOL~ especially vodka, rofl.. he intro himself by shaking hands wif everyone, then when its my turn, i act as if im new and tried to shake wif him. THEN DUH! EVERYONE LAUGH LOL! its so stupid..hahaha.. well, im in this clan for 2yrs already le. say short yet not, say long yet not, its 2yrs ler! juz like a family.. ^^ and after the meeting about everything(confidential) we went for lan! not lanjiao tat lan but lan shop tat lan. kEkE..dun think "wai wai".. HAHA! then go home le..
bout ting..
i doesnt noe how to start..so i juz wrote wad i thought of..
its seems tat there's always obstacles obstructing us to be together. on sat, her father brought her to a household so call summoning god to find out wad's some1 hav been doing in the past. and tat someone told her dad bout everything she did. including mi inside. is it real? she got scolded by her dad too. and cant go out wif mi anymore, or meet mi. haiz.. she asked mi if i'm able to wait... i said of coz i can, but i can onli wait till the day she doesnt shower mi wif her love for mi. well, its true though, if the other partner of urs doesnt show u the love, ur love for him/her will fade away slowly too rite..? and she asked mi, 1yr or 10yrs i can wait? well, its as long as shes able to make mi wait.. so i asked her, do u wan mi to wait?? she said "i think i wan". guess wad, my reply is "think onli?" haha.. then she replied "walao, u purposely one leh.. i wan la".. wif this, i'll wait till the day we can be together. wif my sincere and true love for her, im sure god will help us. miracles will happen!!! i duno when will we see each other again, but i'll wait till tat day to come. wait and wait and wait...
guess my birthday, she's unable to celebrate wif mi le.. on the 25th, stay at home to slp thruout the whole day. tat's it. =]
thousand sry were unable to take away the things which i made u felt sad. but i gonna say this.. the thousand and one sry. pls dun liddat. i noe im wrong. forgiv mi pls? i dun wan to lose u, i dun wan u to leave mi. haiz. i dunno y..i hurt myself again.. but i dun feel any better now. maybe im already used to hurting myself the same method. maybe i should try something else soon the next time. dun ask mi wad it is, juz think tat there will be blood coming out of one of ur body parts. tat's it. seriously, im now feeling like whacking someone.. REALLY FEEL LIKE! i dunno y i became more and more violent, i juz dunno how to control. im tired, stress and alots alots more. my birthday is getting nearer and nearer, and it seems like she still unable to remember. im really beri upset. if im important to her, y would she even forget such a small thing like my birthday?? its once a yr... haiz.. i dunno when will i be going back the carpark again.. maybe quite soon.. i dunno.. im really tired..
xiao wei: thanks for complimenting mi for being so patience. thanks for everything alot alot..u r my gd jie jie! wont forget ya.. but her heart doesnt seems to hav mi inside anymore... haiz..
today really pissed off. the fucking xiaohei sack thomas, winnie, xiao wei, wan ting(colleague), michelle and xue ling today LOR! wtf? sack so many ppl. then who do the work? really pissed.. and now i gonna run all the printers myself alone? its a 2man job lor. didnt pay mi 2ppl pay wan mi to do 2ppl works? wtF! pissed pissed pissed! they tml going back company to find out y they got sack. there's so many things needa do.. and i tok to them bout those company things till i forgot need to meet up ting. so she msged mi where am i then i remembered i meeting her. rush over..run run run..so long no run le, felt so song running. loL! reached there kinda piss as usual. sry ting, show u those fuk up attitude. >.<
went to my cousin house for dinner wif my 5th aunt and 7th aunt. hee.. so merrier..hehe.. then they gave mi a big surprise! BIRTHDAY CAKE! HEHE..SO HAPPI! XD i love them lots! although its celebrate earlier alot, but im real happi! hee.. thx everyone who celebrated my birthday in adv! hehe.. its actually brighten up my day ler! hee..
ting, i dunno wad u was crying bout suddenly. but i hope u'll tell mi someday..
wad i actually did? i really dunno. smsing wif her halfway, she doesnt wan to share wif mi her trouble, i didnt force her. she told mi she felt like throwing away her hp, i asked y..and my reply is "walau! i hate you!".. i seriously duno wad i did to make her so angry. so i msged her to ask wad happened, wad i did? she didnt reply. so i called her up. she was crying.. i asked her wad happened? she said can dun say? ok..i juz keep quiet and hear her sobbing quietly on the other side. my heart ache..really beri pain.. how i wish i can be beside her giving her a big hug and let her cry on my shoulder. i really hope i can.. im so useless. i cant do anything to make her feel better. y did such a guy like mi be born to this world? she told mi to sms later. ok..so we put down fone. but she didnt reply mi.. haiz.. i wanna be wif her sharing her troubles and problems wif her. but y wont she allow mi to? she always keep everything to herself.
ting, pls giv mi a chance to be there for u, listening and sharing ur problems wif u. i really wan to hav this chance to do so. really really wanted to. haiz..
will not leave. it will be there for as long as tat person live. and to some ofthe ppl out there, they say sry r not sincere too. seriously, i dunno y u kept saying sry to mi, it does not make mi feel better. does it makes u feel better after saying it? i dunno bout u coz i dun understand u. so dun ask mi to figure itout. i dun understand anyone out there even myself. i dunno wad i wan in my life.i have no targets, no goals and no future. i doesnt wan to giv up but im forced to.did u ever understand mi? i felt tat u onli understand the way i tok and not theway im feeling. no one actually noe how i really feel. and some ppl even tryingto act as if they're beri gd tat they said: "I know how u feel, i went thru thisbe4 too. Everyone hav different probs. There's bound to be ways to solve the prob."They're not mi, they dun even wif mi for my whole life. they just came into my life,for awhile and left some footprints and out they go. does they really stay wif mithruout all my life? no. not even my mum. i onli live wif her for all my life, butshe doesnt noe how i felt. tell her how i felt rite? if its u, will u be able to describe wad u really feel deep inside ur heart?
sometimes i hope tat she could let mi noe wad she wants. sometimes, she told mishe wan this, its seems like shes joking. and sometimes, she said she dun wan this,it seems to be joking too. i really dunno wad she really wants. how can i ever understand her..herheart kept changing. she sometimes say wan this, and awhile later say dun wan. its really beri blur.she seems cant decide it well.. im trying to understand her but how?
freaking mum. remembered i said she went to tell 2nd aunt bout she's able to pay for my sch feesfor ITE? well, she can. but she didnt even think of how i gonna survive. she onli think bout whetheri can enter. after i entered, i dun hav allowance. how to eat? and she said she could giv mi allowance.if she can, y she now kept asking mi to pay for her this and that. if she can, she'll be able to payfor it liao wad. i didnt take any money from her for past 3months liao lor. if the 3months she didntgiv mi she should hav some money liao wad. its like at least 500dollar lor. where izzit? and now shesay she can giv mi go study? STUDY SHIT! big far liar. say wad i will become like HIM. ITS U WHO RMORE LIKE HIM! GO GAMBLE TILL NO MONEY AND BORROW NON-STOP! AND OSO ACT AS IF U BERI RICH! CAN AFFORDTHIS AND THAT HUH? always rely on 4D/toto hoping to get back money. but u didnt ever thought of how much u spent. im sure its at least $10,000 already. 1week at least $10. for 10+ yrs. COUNT URSELF!really fed up. my this coming pay which is tml, thru my calculation i'll onli have $270. and i got topay my HP bill of extending $100. pay ivan $50 and im left wif $120 for 2weeks to survive. and shewan mi to borrow her $40, and pay another $48 bill. wtf? i left wif $32? eat shit huh? nnb. this isimpossible one lor. wtf. wif $32, i eat maggie mee everyday? coz EZ-LINK cost mi $20 for 2weeks juz to go work and back home. $12 to buy maggie mee huh? nnb.. dun think of continuing study le. thiskinda mum who didnt thought of wad gonna happen after i entered education r not really useful to relyon. i rather rely on myself. really pissed off by her. and giv mi those fucking sad looks! I MAY FEEL HURT BUT I CANT DUN EAT RITE? I HAVNT BEEN EATING FOR 2DAYS TILL TODAY I ATE DINNER ONLI! WTF!NO ONE KNOW LOR! IM BEEN STARVING BECOZ I DUN HAV A SINGLE MONEY TO EAT! NNBCCB.. I JUZ KEPT MUTELIAO LOR..KAO..
a game and a love is totally different. i finally went it thru myself. a game, when u lose, u able to restart or start again.. but as for love, u cant.. when u make ur partner lose the love for u, its the end for u. no matter wad she wont accept the love from u anymore. and when game u win, u win everything. but as for love, u win but yet u could lose it anytime as well. u must maintain of even be better in order to continuing winning her love for u. sometimes, when there are game which u felt u'll win for sure, u actually win. but as for love, u felt so, it turn out otherwise and u will felt like the whole world is turning upside down in ur life. "u can control game but not love." this sentence..i will remember it for life. when u lost a game, u r given another chance to win again. when u loses love, u wont be able to hav anymore chance to win her heart. u could onli hide in 1 corner sobbing all ur heart out but yet nth change. its still the same, everything goes on around u. the different is u giving up on urself.
truthfully, 3/3/2006, 1020pm. i went up to the top floor of a carpark. for there's a rooftop. i was intending to jump off tat time. im really cant tolerate my mum and wad i can do to make her change, she juz wont change. im beri stress and felt alot of pressure by her already. Then i thought of wan ting, who will always be there for mi. but it seems like..she wont anymore. not ever again. y is everytime when i thought i finally found some1 whom i can trust, i can be wif and it turns out to be the one tat hurts mi most? y is this so? y is this blog started for? izzit really to represent mi for my whole life as the topic wrote? xiong-loner. i created this for i felt i gonna be a loner foreva.
ting.. remember the song i wanted u to hear? the song is 98degrees - chance to love you more
I never thought I would be
The man that I see before me
When I look in your eyes
As you try not to cry
It’s pain I see
Now I know that what I’ve done is wrong
And I know that it's hard to be strong
When the hurting inside you
From all of the lies
Lasts so long
So let me hold you
Here in my arms
And console you
Keep you safe from the harm
That you felt before
I will give you more
Baby promise you'll try to hold on
Look in my eyes
Look in my heart
Look in my soul, girl
It’s torn all apart
Look at my pride
Lay down on the floor
Praying you'll give us just one more chance
To love like before
Let me love you some more
How could I ever let go?
Of the one true love I’ll ever know
Every night girl I pray that it isn't too late
To hold you close
Can I bring you in from the rain?
And protect you
Take away all the pain
That you felt back then
We can love again
Girl I know that I was to blame
Look in my eyes
Look in my heart
Look in my soul, girl
It’s torn all apart
Look at my pride
Lay down on the floor
Praying you'll give us just one more chance
To love like before
Let me love you some more
Baby I swear
That I’ll give you more
All of the things
Your heart's looking for
Now girl please don't walk away
Trust me when I say
You have all of my love
Look in my eyes
Look in my heart
Look in my soul, girl
It’s torn all apart
Look at my pride
Lay down on the floor
Praying you'll give us just one more chance
To love like before
Let me love you some more
Look in my eyes
Look in my heart
Look at my pride
Down on the floor
Praying you'll give us just one more chance
To love like before
Let me love you some more
i think tat this is the last thing tat i could do for u. wish u the best in everything and hope u will find the guy who suits u more. im sry to leave such a bad and failed footsteps in ur life to make u feel stress and everything. but i really hope u would change ur mind. be back wif mi again like be4. really, im hoping it.
Guys, there's one thing i wanna let u guys noe. i hoped everyone wont regret for wad u did. If u felt its the right time to do this thing, juz do it. u may not hav the chance anymore juz like mi. and regret for not doing so in the past. u truly will if u dun do it on the right time. And 1 more thing, no matter wad u do, dun do things which the other party doesnt like. try to find out more first.
ivan: thx for been there for mi..u r my real gd kor.
sandy: thx for ur consoling although u kept saying u cant do anything. but all this is enff for mi. really. thx alot..
ting: wad i wanna do? i'll cont to wait..and cherish the past tat we been together and never be forgotten. if u didnt see this blog of mine, its ok.. for i felt u wont see it anyway. i felt im juz writting to wall. like the way when u tok to mi, the way it felt to be like toking to wall. no answer.. no reply.. no feeling everything..
Just want you to know that i will always be here for you. My door is wide open for you to come anytime you wanted to. And the door is only you who're able to enter but not any other people.
yes..guys do cry. juz like mi and my dearest cousin whom i treated him like my kor. i dunno wad i can really say..maybe its really the end of it. gone..no more chance. haiz... thx to everything tat person and my mum gave mi, making mi lose her. THX DAMN FUCKING LOT TO THEM!!!! BLOODY FUCKER!!!!
im sry..although i noe u didnt read my blog. sry for all the stress i gave u. thx for telling mi everything bout how u felt. hee.. im feeling much better and u too..rite? hee..
today after work went out enjoy wif my buddies. although there's 1 unable to turn up and another one pang seh and went off to play MAPLE. lol~ but kinda enjoyable and fun. haha..but i really hope there would be one day where we all 7ppl could really gather up and not rushing home to enjoy till we song! which is on the 24th! im so exciting bout tat day..hee. i seriously hope u all can make it. ^^
sheng: thx for everything..haha.. =P
qi jie: thx thx too! u still one of my best jie jie! ^^
jwen: gd luck to u..bout..Ahem..lol~ take care ah =P
seng: thx for listening.. haha..hope u able to get in U. gd luck bud! ^^
hmm..think i announce the answer for the IQ question now. use ur brain to think ler..loL~ so easy.. 2 half hrs add up isnt it 1hr? LOL!!! makes no different. NO IQ! LOL!! u noe who u r! HAHA!!! =X
