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Monday, January 02, 2006
im confused again. i seriously dunno wad i wan for my life. everyone told mi tat i spending my life away for nth in returns. wad did i really achieve and get? i myself dunno the answer. wad did i really get? i felt im becoming more and more ignorant, childish, hopeless and helpless. siyin is my mummy, and yet i cant help her when she's having problems. xanne is my best fren and yet i cant cheer her up. my mum having financial prob and yet i keep falling sick. how am i able to keep working for money to help her out?! alot of my frens and colleague asked mi this question, wad jc/poly u going after u get ur result? and wad courses i'll be taking. my answer is, I DUNNO! im seriously dunno wad i gonna get for my result. im sure the result will not be wad i wan. and if it's not, i wont be able to choose the sch or the courses i wan already rite. and therefore i can onli be chosen and not to choose. a mere 20points, i dun even hav the courage to say it proudly, I FOR SURE CAN GET IT! coz im not really confirm i can even get 20points.. a colleague of mine told me, nvm if u're bad in studies, there's still courses which teaches games. sort of game creator. maybe i choose this choice, but MY POINTS! will i be able to even take tat courses? wif my points? i wondered. haiz.. retake subjects? if i hav the money to retake. god damn it. and my mum now come tells mi about money prob again. im really sick and tired of hearing it! cant she see it?! even when im real tired and felt so sick i still go work. for wad? FOR THE MONEY! AND SHE STILL GIVING MI ALL THIS TROUBLES! TELLING MI ALL THIS SHIT! TO A SICK PERSON?! FREAK!
qi jie, i understand le. i wont think tat way again. and. i oso hate it when ppl tells mi tat. "ni hen ke lian". I JUZ FEEL TAT THEY JUZ MERELY SHOWING CROCODILE SYMPATHY! im not gonna wait anymore. i giving up as well. maybe a loner really suits mi more.
``\\ Loving you is all bout mE //``
