Punching of wallS~ SHIOK!!!

Knock by hammer.~~

so paiN! can u feel the pain? haiz..its not knock by hammer or hit the wall. its the cleaning of the fucking stupid paint. as usual, my fucking bloody asshole dad loanshark havnt pay finish and yet he told us he paid everything liao and went in to jail. and now wad? december they came. pour paint and ran off. didnt noe who the fuck it is. and now, they came again. dunno who the fuck it is again! i juz wish i can juz fucking see them ONCE! JUZ ONCE! AT THEM POURING PAINT AT THIS FUCKING DOOR! JUZ ONCE I DUN CARE WHETHER I GO JAIL OR HANGED! I GONNA WHACK THEM UP TILL THEY DUN HAVE TML TO LIVE! FUCK! if it is my bad of luck to have this kinda of thing, y drag my poor mum in toO? she's innocent. she did nth wrong in the past nor now. she's juz a gd mother and normal person in society. y treat her liddat? im juz freaking hurt to see her liddat. i cant stop myself from shreding tears when i saw her eyes filled wif tears. although i didnt shred it infront of her, im hiding in my room alone. writing wif tears in my eyes.. wad can i do to make her stay happi? i even pressuring her when will the divorce succeed when they r already progressing. im really not a gd and filial son. my mum is already in pressure and i add this all to her. haiz..

this incident oso made mi realised something. Human beings have 2 types. 1) helpful 2) gossip. y? a few neighbours offerred help to us but we can handle(coz we already used to it). we appreciate wad they did. Then on the other side, i saw 2 neighbours, GOSSIPPING AROUND LIKE NO TML! they think i cant hear? LOL! my hearing is gd for god sake. well, if they wan, juz let them be. they dun even noe who the fucking ass that go around lending money from loanshark and make mi and my mum in this state. GOSSIP AND GOSSIP AND GOSSIP! fuckers.

i dunno how to say sry to my mum for wad i did in the past. i wanna say sry to her but i dunno how to do it. but i must promise myself. I WILL NEVER SCREAM AT MY MUM AGAIN OR PRESSURE HER NO MATTER WAD! i noe she's really hurt ytd. i broke a promise..for the first time in my life. and the person i broke my promise to is my mum. i promised her to have dinner wif her, and i remembered it yet i wrote a note to her saying i will be going out wif my frens to play then wont be coming back home to eat. i noe she's hurt. but i dunno wad to do. so i thought tat today we can have dinner together. YET THIS THING HAPPEN! totally no mood to eat. although she's no mood to eat, i juz chased her to eat. haiz..now its my turn to eat le. i'll stop here..really sry mum. u're the best mum i ever wan.

PS: sry liyun. sry sry =( miss ya.